I guess mainly because things are so busy with me. Work, kids, study and trying to have a life as well.
It would seem to be that I have met the one. He is now moved in and things are going ok. I say ok. He and I are good. Our lives are ok. lol. It is hard to explain. It has/is taking me a while to adjust to having someone live with me after 6 years of just me and the kids. It is taking time for him to adjust as well. Especially becoming step dad to three kids. I guess that is the biggest thing for us that we deal with on a day to day basis.
After being the only one for 6 years there are lots of things I have let slide with the kids. Otherwise I would just constantly be on them. I feel like that anyway. But the things that I have let slide are the things that get to P. Like the way the kids talk to me. I guess the respect thing. After a few humdingers of fights, it has been decided that I will deal with Patrick, the younger two P will wade in where needed. Things with Patrick are so hard. The whole teenage thing as well as having to deal with a shit dad. He has been suspended from school and in trouble a lot. P came into where it was at its worse and I guess we didn't totally agree so he has decided to back off. It has been a big learning curve for us all I guess.
P is great though. Albeit grumpy at times!! lol He just wants to look after me and for me to be happy. I love coming home to him. Knowing that he loves me. I have no doubt about that. It is great. I have had to review my way I think the whole relationship thing needs to be done sometimes though. But really no surprise there as I have always said I have had unreal expectations. I can't believe that just out of the blue though the one person I am going to spend my life with is here with me now!!
So to the other parts of my life. work is shit at the moment. Amazing how one person can impact so many people. In a negative way. But because I am the one who has to work so closely with her I am the one getting the shit mostly. I have spoken up about it though which in a way has made things worse but hopefully will settle soon.
Shit for brains is shit for brains. We had mediation last week. Wasn't that crap. It is just all about money for him. Even though I said I would pay for the private school he still would not agree. He wants me to forgo child support because he thinks that because I can send the kids to a private school then I don't need child support. As if I am letting him off of that. But yes it was all just about money and he will not agree to the private school. I am sending the kids there but he is not agreeing to it. In a way thank god for mediation. He can't just go back to court with this.
We also tried to talk about contact. I want it to be more flexible but he just wants it changed. We didn't get into this very far because all the earlier insults that he was throwing around I didn't react to but the mediators could see me getting upset when shit for brains started in saying that I was an unfit mum etc. There was no point going on then.
So much for no money though. Turns out he has preordered a PS3 game worth over $100 and he took the kids to the show. No I don't care about that apart from the fact he is crying poor to me. Piss off you dick.
So in a nutshell that is it really. I am still plodding along. Still having stresses. I just now have someone who thinks I am wonderful that I can take my stress out on. Which I do a lot. Poor guy cops me ranting sometimes. But hey he does it back when he needs to as well. Also means that I don't cook. I cooked tonight for the first time in months. Which surprisingly I didn't mind as much. Helps that I now have a dishwasher as well.
Ok well that is me done for now. No doubt it will be months before I get around to updating again.
Monday, 6 September 2010
Monday, 31 May 2010
I'm Back???/
Yeah it has been a long time I know. I guess things didn't really improve for quite a while. The thing with the separated (married man) ended bad. No surprise I guess. Long story short. I held off for ages. I ended up being suckered in. I ended up being hurt. Typical really. As of this morning though he is going back to his wife. I got a txt last night saying he was deleting me off of Facebook. Pity he is not deleting the other girl he moved onto after me as well. But goes to show how much I meant to him. Thankfully I made the choice to get out when I did otherwise I probably would have hurt more than I did. And that was a lot!
So I guess the biggest thing is my new man. Even before the above mentioned guy I decided I wanted to do things differently next time. With him it was different because I already knew him. Well with this one, (P) boy is it different. I guess I have known him now nearly 2 months. We see each other every day and basically he stays here every night. Full on huh! He used to be a chef up until a couple of years ago so he has gotten into my kids hearts via food lol. They love it. Must admit so do I. I have done basically no cooking which those who know me will know that is my dream come true right there.
He spoils me like I have never known before. Which is taking some getting used to. I also don't really feel so totally insecure in the relationship. Which is also a first. That has never happened before. I guess that is because I see him so much. He met my mum and dad very early on because he wanted to. It is really and truly so different from anything I have experienced before. I do not know what I am going to do. There are no little red flags etc like there have been with other guys. He has always has had long term relationships as well. He hasn't dated many so that gives me hope as well.
He is getting me jewelry for my birthday. Which he has ordered already. I guess that is an indication that he wants to hang around.
Things with Shit for Brains is still bad. Patrick is going to high school next year. I have him booked into a private school near me. Which will send me broke. But I have told SFB that I will meet all the school costs but he is still refusing to allow the kids to go there. Saying they need to go to the high school near him. This school has such a bad reputation. He says it is so they can ride their bikes from his place and he does not have to pay OSCH fees! They are with him 4 days in a fortnight and only have 2 of those days at school. Yet the school is 30 minutes away from me. Get real.
Anyway before we can go to court we have to do mediation. So we each meet with the mediator separately then meet together. I have had my first thing but he hasn't contacted them yet. I initiated it all so he is going to stall as long as he can I am sure. It is such crap because he must realise that if we do go to court the judge is going to think he is crazy to pass the fact that he does not have to pay for the fees and yet his kids still go to a private school.
Work is ok I guess. No where as good as they used to be now that managers have all changed around. It is better than it was earlier this year. I no longer end up in tears on some days. It is only really one person that makes it sucky and there is not much I can do about it. I just hope things just continue to get better.
The kids are the kids. Patrick turns 13 next week and has the teenager attitude already. It sucks and I am at my wits end sometimes. Especially as Lachlan copies him. What can I do but keep plodding along.
So I guess the biggest thing is my new man. Even before the above mentioned guy I decided I wanted to do things differently next time. With him it was different because I already knew him. Well with this one, (P) boy is it different. I guess I have known him now nearly 2 months. We see each other every day and basically he stays here every night. Full on huh! He used to be a chef up until a couple of years ago so he has gotten into my kids hearts via food lol. They love it. Must admit so do I. I have done basically no cooking which those who know me will know that is my dream come true right there.
He spoils me like I have never known before. Which is taking some getting used to. I also don't really feel so totally insecure in the relationship. Which is also a first. That has never happened before. I guess that is because I see him so much. He met my mum and dad very early on because he wanted to. It is really and truly so different from anything I have experienced before. I do not know what I am going to do. There are no little red flags etc like there have been with other guys. He has always has had long term relationships as well. He hasn't dated many so that gives me hope as well.
He is getting me jewelry for my birthday. Which he has ordered already. I guess that is an indication that he wants to hang around.
Things with Shit for Brains is still bad. Patrick is going to high school next year. I have him booked into a private school near me. Which will send me broke. But I have told SFB that I will meet all the school costs but he is still refusing to allow the kids to go there. Saying they need to go to the high school near him. This school has such a bad reputation. He says it is so they can ride their bikes from his place and he does not have to pay OSCH fees! They are with him 4 days in a fortnight and only have 2 of those days at school. Yet the school is 30 minutes away from me. Get real.
Anyway before we can go to court we have to do mediation. So we each meet with the mediator separately then meet together. I have had my first thing but he hasn't contacted them yet. I initiated it all so he is going to stall as long as he can I am sure. It is such crap because he must realise that if we do go to court the judge is going to think he is crazy to pass the fact that he does not have to pay for the fees and yet his kids still go to a private school.
Work is ok I guess. No where as good as they used to be now that managers have all changed around. It is better than it was earlier this year. I no longer end up in tears on some days. It is only really one person that makes it sucky and there is not much I can do about it. I just hope things just continue to get better.
The kids are the kids. Patrick turns 13 next week and has the teenager attitude already. It sucks and I am at my wits end sometimes. Especially as Lachlan copies him. What can I do but keep plodding along.
Sunday, 28 March 2010
Tuesday, 9 February 2010
Shit for Brains
So yes this is the longest that I have left it without saying anything. And now it is to rant and rave about my dickhead ex husband.
So Sunday night I had mum and dad look after my kids overnight so I could go to a farewell drinks thing for a girl at work. I rarely get mum and dad to look after them unless it is because I am working.
The kids were at SFB last night. Of course once he found out that mum and dad looked after the kids it was on. He told the kids I was a skank etc etc. I got txt messages from the kids saying they never want to go to his house again.
I found out today that he was telling them that they were fucking twits and he didn't want to know them. That where I live is full of fat single mums. They can do what they like because they don't exist. He constantly swore at them and carried on.
Not sure what I am going to do. I will have to ring him tomorrow while he is at work and leave a message telling him that the kids don't want to see him or be with him at the moment.
Of course there is a downside to all of this. If I didn't have a life before, I really won't have one now. I am going to be dead. And that is a really selfish view I know but it is really hard to work 9 hours, come home and cook and clean and sort the kids, with no break. But the kids come first and I am going to have to suck it up. They can not be around shit like that, they just can't.
So Sunday night I had mum and dad look after my kids overnight so I could go to a farewell drinks thing for a girl at work. I rarely get mum and dad to look after them unless it is because I am working.
The kids were at SFB last night. Of course once he found out that mum and dad looked after the kids it was on. He told the kids I was a skank etc etc. I got txt messages from the kids saying they never want to go to his house again.
I found out today that he was telling them that they were fucking twits and he didn't want to know them. That where I live is full of fat single mums. They can do what they like because they don't exist. He constantly swore at them and carried on.
Not sure what I am going to do. I will have to ring him tomorrow while he is at work and leave a message telling him that the kids don't want to see him or be with him at the moment.
Of course there is a downside to all of this. If I didn't have a life before, I really won't have one now. I am going to be dead. And that is a really selfish view I know but it is really hard to work 9 hours, come home and cook and clean and sort the kids, with no break. But the kids come first and I am going to have to suck it up. They can not be around shit like that, they just can't.
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