I have taken today off work as I feel so gross. I have to go tomorrow because the new system is going in. I refuse to miss that. Once the kids are at school I am going back to bed.
Met Karen yesterday at the shops. It was really good catching up with her. We were talking about them winning the new car. She said she has found out who her real friends are! Some of the stuff she was saying was awful. People are so begrudging. Oh you already have two cars etc etc. Geez just be happy for them people. Rachel being one of the people who hasn't shown anything toward Karen about it. Just sent a txt saying congratulations. Now we have all known each other nearly 11 years now and I really really think that Rachel should have put a bit more effort into it.
We had a bit of a chat about Rachel. Karen said something to me that made some sense. She said that Rachel doesn't like me getting ahead of me. She doesn't like to play catch up. And I thought yeah that is true. And if things work out with B she won't be happy about that either. It is a really sucky situation as Rachel never used to be this bad. She was always a tad self centred but not like this. She is going to end up pushing everyone away. I didn't mention B the other day. I just didn't want to go into with her.
B and I are going out for dinner on Friday. I am looking forward to it. Again I say I hate all the uncertainty. I am hoping Friday night will make things clearer. He has been saying all the right things in txt messages but there are basically no phone calls. All communication now is through txt messages and that is it. I need more than that I really do. I am a talker and as such need to talk! I hate being desperate. And that is what I am. I am desperate for someone to love me and want me. He has been saying such nice things in the txt messages. Not to full on but just enough to convey his feelings. But why no phone calls? I feel so screwed up in the head sometimes. I over think everything. I just need to go with the flow.
G emailed me last night in regards to doing some more flyers for him for a free seminar he is running. Sounds really good. I want to go!! But I will do the flyers for him and I will be able to have some more PT sessions without feeling guilty! lol. We are looking at treadmills on Monday I think. I miss the gym and the exercise I used to do. My fitness is shit nowadays. Better than the average person but not as good as it was. Least with a treadmill I can jump on that in the evenings or morning. I would use it for sure but it is getting the money for it that is the problem. Any suggestions from people who have them..... cost, type, where you got it from etc.
Tuesday 29 April 2008
Saturday 26 April 2008
Going where I haven't gone before.
So yesterday I went to the beach with Madame Violet (and yes that is the name on the papers lol.) and the kids. We met B down there. I didn't tell the kids that we were. I didn't even introduce him to them. It is a new thing for me. It took me nearly 3 years before G even met my kids!
It was nice. Uncomfortable at times because we were just standing around. But we chatted. I commented on the fact that he hasn't seen me wear nice clothes. He has seen me in my work uniform and then in my daggy gym clothes. (which is what I wore to the beach) He just laughed and said so I have seen you at your worst!!
The kids eventually turned feral, as kids are bound to do. So we started back to my car but stopped to watch some kite surfers. OMG those guys were amazing! Of course the kids wanted to play on the playground. I had said no but B started walking over to it so the kids took off. He and I ended up just sitting on this little wall and chatting. It was really nice. I feel comfortable around him. Like I don't have to pretend to be better than I am. He is a bit overweight so I don't worry so much about me being overweight. I really want to get to know him. Unlike when I went out with M last year, where I was going out with him to find out if I wanted to go out with him. With B I want to spend time with him.
I txt him when I got home last night. "so did my kids scare you away forever" His response "hell no! Gonna have to try harder than that" That made me melt.
So now we are looking at doing something next Friday night. The kids are back to their dad's and he doesn't have his daughter that night. He is going to think about what we will do but he mentioned going out for dinner. Sounds good to me and finally I can wear something that is not daggy or work related. I won't have my hair being whipped around my hair by the wind nor nice and proper like I wear for work!!
Found out a bit more about him yesterday though. He has been married once. Has a 14 year old son whom he doesn't see much of. (not his choice.) He has a daughter who is 6 from a different relationship. Ok this I knew. Not the intricate details but the basics. I found this out. The relationship with the mother of the daughter was only for 3 months. They split up, and he got a phone call saying we need to talk!!! She was pregnant. Don't know how I feel about that. But I know I won't be sleeping with him for quite a while!! I do however have this overwhelming desire for him to hug me! Lol I am such a sap.
Lets hope it works out because I hate the fact that I fall so hard and fast.
Moving on. I have a rotten cold. I woke up this morning feeling pretty crap and thought about calling in sick. But given yesterday was a holiday and I wasn't rostered onto work, (but still get paid for it! Got to love being on a contract) and tomorrow is the start of my two days off I thought I had better not. (add to that I would have had to go to the doc and I hate doing that) So I went to work and slowly died. At about 12 I said to Mark I need to go home. So I have spent the afternoon watching "It could happen to you" and "Peggy Sue got Married". I am drugged up with Codral. But still not feeling the best. Mum and dad will be back with the kids soon. Oh and here they are lol. Byeeeee
It was nice. Uncomfortable at times because we were just standing around. But we chatted. I commented on the fact that he hasn't seen me wear nice clothes. He has seen me in my work uniform and then in my daggy gym clothes. (which is what I wore to the beach) He just laughed and said so I have seen you at your worst!!
The kids eventually turned feral, as kids are bound to do. So we started back to my car but stopped to watch some kite surfers. OMG those guys were amazing! Of course the kids wanted to play on the playground. I had said no but B started walking over to it so the kids took off. He and I ended up just sitting on this little wall and chatting. It was really nice. I feel comfortable around him. Like I don't have to pretend to be better than I am. He is a bit overweight so I don't worry so much about me being overweight. I really want to get to know him. Unlike when I went out with M last year, where I was going out with him to find out if I wanted to go out with him. With B I want to spend time with him.
I txt him when I got home last night. "so did my kids scare you away forever" His response "hell no! Gonna have to try harder than that" That made me melt.
So now we are looking at doing something next Friday night. The kids are back to their dad's and he doesn't have his daughter that night. He is going to think about what we will do but he mentioned going out for dinner. Sounds good to me and finally I can wear something that is not daggy or work related. I won't have my hair being whipped around my hair by the wind nor nice and proper like I wear for work!!
Found out a bit more about him yesterday though. He has been married once. Has a 14 year old son whom he doesn't see much of. (not his choice.) He has a daughter who is 6 from a different relationship. Ok this I knew. Not the intricate details but the basics. I found this out. The relationship with the mother of the daughter was only for 3 months. They split up, and he got a phone call saying we need to talk!!! She was pregnant. Don't know how I feel about that. But I know I won't be sleeping with him for quite a while!! I do however have this overwhelming desire for him to hug me! Lol I am such a sap.
Lets hope it works out because I hate the fact that I fall so hard and fast.
Moving on. I have a rotten cold. I woke up this morning feeling pretty crap and thought about calling in sick. But given yesterday was a holiday and I wasn't rostered onto work, (but still get paid for it! Got to love being on a contract) and tomorrow is the start of my two days off I thought I had better not. (add to that I would have had to go to the doc and I hate doing that) So I went to work and slowly died. At about 12 I said to Mark I need to go home. So I have spent the afternoon watching "It could happen to you" and "Peggy Sue got Married". I am drugged up with Codral. But still not feeling the best. Mum and dad will be back with the kids soon. Oh and here they are lol. Byeeeee
Friday 25 April 2008
A whole lot of nothing going on........
The big news... Simon..Karen's husband won a triton ute off the radio!!! He was in a final with 14 other people and the final thing was to dig around in a kids pool with sand trying to find the keyring with chopsticks! And he won! I was so happy for them. They are truly the most deserving people of this!! They went to a song after the two guys were still digging. I couldn't wait I rang Karen and she was screaming into the phone OMG OMG he won he won. It was amazing!!!
Now Rachel on the other hand. Babysitting was fine and I got my $100 so that was cool. We had arranged for her and Karen to come up to my place last Monday. Well that was the day Simon won the car and amongst other things Karen didn't make it. For this I will kill her. I don't want to be alone with Rachel and her kids again. Ashley was fine. Daniel who is the same age as Patrick was a little shit. He sat at the table with Rachel and I and didn't move. He continually said I want to go home now I want to go home now! He put down all the things Patrick had. Playstation games etc. Said how runescape, Patrick's favourite game on the computer, was stupid and basically below him. It was horrible. I just wanted to smack him out. She didn't seem to concerned about Karen and Simon winning the car. She didn't say much about my house. Only that I guess it is good the kids have their own rooms. So there you go. She has her wonderful boyfriend and that is all that matters.
Work is good. I went to another store the other day to learn the new system that is going in next week. I can't wait. It gives me a bit more responsibility and hopefully I will cotton onto it pretty fast so then that makes me pretty valuable. And then they can see that I am good at my job. Not that they don't think that now but for the future I need to put myself out there.
School holidays here at the moment. Last week I didn't have the kids. Monday I went to bingo with Karen. Won $50 so that was good! Tuesday I met a guy! More on that shortly. Then went out to the movies with the girls from work. Was a really nice night. Wednesday night was the babysitting.
Ok onto the guy. B is the same age as I am and lives not far from me. (near where I used to live) RSVP is where we hooked up. We actually were talking last year but I had just gotten my job and we were talking via msn. And if I remember correctly it was hard work. I found the history of the conversation and he even said he is a people person face to face so found it hard to converse like that. Anywho. He face kept popping up in my searches and after I while I sent him a kiss. So because it is school holidays it was hard for us to meet. I thought stuff it he can take me as I come and I met him briefly after work on that Tuesday. I went straight from work, so still in my work uniform. He is not the usual guy I like to gravitate towards either. He is only 5 9 which is way shorter than I am attracted to. He is as much overweight as I am. He is just your average guy. So I guess I am shopping in my league now. Perhaps that was my problem.
The meeting was good. I stayed longer than I should have, given I had to go home and then go out again to the movies. Because of the holidays it has been hard to catch up again. But today we are meeting down the beach. I will have the kids and this is a huge thing for me. But I want to see him again and see what happens. Otherwise we can see each other again until next Friday. He likes me. I know that because he said it lol. He is very keen, which as you all know scares the crap out of me whilst making me melt into a puddle on the floor. I fall for all the nice stuff. But then I worry well he may get to know me and not like me at all. So I have told him to back off a little. We spoke for a bit on the phone last night and he is just sweet. So we will see how we go.
I am over J. It is funny. He got in contact with me. Twice. Both times after I told him I was not interested anymore!! But I am over him. I have had enough of his bs. It was just the same old stuff over and over. He was making no effort to change things between us and I told him in big capital letters that it was no longer fun communicating with him, I didn't like him anymore and leave me the fuck alone! I haven't heard another word so fingers crossed that is it.
Kids are good. They have their moments. Two are in their rooms as I type but that is just kids.
Violet is growing up. She is starting to play with Brinkley a bit now, which is funny to see. She still spends most of her time at Mum and dad's while I am at work. It is funny when I get there. I get her out of the car and she runs full pelt to their front door and then gets let in and runs straight to their back door. She still has a sister there and of course her mum and aunties!! I don't think I have ever seen a puppy run so fast before. It is very very funny.
Well I think that is me done. Oh I should put this down so i don't forget it in years to come... according to Lachlan we are mammoths! (he meant mammals the poor love!)
Now Rachel on the other hand. Babysitting was fine and I got my $100 so that was cool. We had arranged for her and Karen to come up to my place last Monday. Well that was the day Simon won the car and amongst other things Karen didn't make it. For this I will kill her. I don't want to be alone with Rachel and her kids again. Ashley was fine. Daniel who is the same age as Patrick was a little shit. He sat at the table with Rachel and I and didn't move. He continually said I want to go home now I want to go home now! He put down all the things Patrick had. Playstation games etc. Said how runescape, Patrick's favourite game on the computer, was stupid and basically below him. It was horrible. I just wanted to smack him out. She didn't seem to concerned about Karen and Simon winning the car. She didn't say much about my house. Only that I guess it is good the kids have their own rooms. So there you go. She has her wonderful boyfriend and that is all that matters.
Work is good. I went to another store the other day to learn the new system that is going in next week. I can't wait. It gives me a bit more responsibility and hopefully I will cotton onto it pretty fast so then that makes me pretty valuable. And then they can see that I am good at my job. Not that they don't think that now but for the future I need to put myself out there.
School holidays here at the moment. Last week I didn't have the kids. Monday I went to bingo with Karen. Won $50 so that was good! Tuesday I met a guy! More on that shortly. Then went out to the movies with the girls from work. Was a really nice night. Wednesday night was the babysitting.
Ok onto the guy. B is the same age as I am and lives not far from me. (near where I used to live) RSVP is where we hooked up. We actually were talking last year but I had just gotten my job and we were talking via msn. And if I remember correctly it was hard work. I found the history of the conversation and he even said he is a people person face to face so found it hard to converse like that. Anywho. He face kept popping up in my searches and after I while I sent him a kiss. So because it is school holidays it was hard for us to meet. I thought stuff it he can take me as I come and I met him briefly after work on that Tuesday. I went straight from work, so still in my work uniform. He is not the usual guy I like to gravitate towards either. He is only 5 9 which is way shorter than I am attracted to. He is as much overweight as I am. He is just your average guy. So I guess I am shopping in my league now. Perhaps that was my problem.
The meeting was good. I stayed longer than I should have, given I had to go home and then go out again to the movies. Because of the holidays it has been hard to catch up again. But today we are meeting down the beach. I will have the kids and this is a huge thing for me. But I want to see him again and see what happens. Otherwise we can see each other again until next Friday. He likes me. I know that because he said it lol. He is very keen, which as you all know scares the crap out of me whilst making me melt into a puddle on the floor. I fall for all the nice stuff. But then I worry well he may get to know me and not like me at all. So I have told him to back off a little. We spoke for a bit on the phone last night and he is just sweet. So we will see how we go.
I am over J. It is funny. He got in contact with me. Twice. Both times after I told him I was not interested anymore!! But I am over him. I have had enough of his bs. It was just the same old stuff over and over. He was making no effort to change things between us and I told him in big capital letters that it was no longer fun communicating with him, I didn't like him anymore and leave me the fuck alone! I haven't heard another word so fingers crossed that is it.
Kids are good. They have their moments. Two are in their rooms as I type but that is just kids.
Violet is growing up. She is starting to play with Brinkley a bit now, which is funny to see. She still spends most of her time at Mum and dad's while I am at work. It is funny when I get there. I get her out of the car and she runs full pelt to their front door and then gets let in and runs straight to their back door. She still has a sister there and of course her mum and aunties!! I don't think I have ever seen a puppy run so fast before. It is very very funny.
Well I think that is me done. Oh I should put this down so i don't forget it in years to come... according to Lachlan we are mammoths! (he meant mammals the poor love!)
Sunday 13 April 2008
Got to let this out
I am hoping that by typing this down and having a bitch it will get out of my system and I won't get shitted off about it anymore....
Rachel.......Yep that is what this is about. She messaged me during the week saying lets all get together. We arrange Tues. She then says Tuesday is out and can we do Monday. I have a meeting Monday but told her that it should be finished by 6.30. She said that sounds fine but we didn't make any firm plans as she stopped responding right after she asked how my mum was. She was still online just not talking to me and hasn't been back on since.
I ended up calling Karen today to find out what the go was. Karen was never free Monday night and she thought it was a get together with the kids. So all that Rachel said was crap. Apparently Rachel now has a boyfriend. (not just a toy!) This is a different guy. But this was after telling me that she didn't want a boyfriend just someone on her terms.
So after talking to Karen I txt Rachel and told her I spoke to Karen and we have made it for when I have the kids. She text back saying I have a date with my boyfriend will txt you Monday! Well thanks for nothing. Thanks for letting me know, we weren't getting together Monday.
I am so pissed at her. As her life is all sweet and lovely she doesn't seem to be bothered to keep in touch with me. After the big blow out last time which I don't think I wrote about I would have thought she would have been a better friend. Yeah I am jealous that she has a boyfriend, but I am pissed that she now no longer feels the need to spend time with me. She said last time she had been a lousy friend but that was nothing compared to now. And the whole rock climbing thing on her RSVP profile!!! That was mine. I am the one who wants to go rock climbing not her!! She knows I want to do that and she puts it on her profile!!
Ok this hasn't helped but perhaps it did in someway. Now I will go back to living my boring life with no one in it.
Rachel.......Yep that is what this is about. She messaged me during the week saying lets all get together. We arrange Tues. She then says Tuesday is out and can we do Monday. I have a meeting Monday but told her that it should be finished by 6.30. She said that sounds fine but we didn't make any firm plans as she stopped responding right after she asked how my mum was. She was still online just not talking to me and hasn't been back on since.
I ended up calling Karen today to find out what the go was. Karen was never free Monday night and she thought it was a get together with the kids. So all that Rachel said was crap. Apparently Rachel now has a boyfriend. (not just a toy!) This is a different guy. But this was after telling me that she didn't want a boyfriend just someone on her terms.
So after talking to Karen I txt Rachel and told her I spoke to Karen and we have made it for when I have the kids. She text back saying I have a date with my boyfriend will txt you Monday! Well thanks for nothing. Thanks for letting me know, we weren't getting together Monday.
I am so pissed at her. As her life is all sweet and lovely she doesn't seem to be bothered to keep in touch with me. After the big blow out last time which I don't think I wrote about I would have thought she would have been a better friend. Yeah I am jealous that she has a boyfriend, but I am pissed that she now no longer feels the need to spend time with me. She said last time she had been a lousy friend but that was nothing compared to now. And the whole rock climbing thing on her RSVP profile!!! That was mine. I am the one who wants to go rock climbing not her!! She knows I want to do that and she puts it on her profile!!
Ok this hasn't helped but perhaps it did in someway. Now I will go back to living my boring life with no one in it.
Friday 4 April 2008
Impressions have been made....
G is coming over Sunday to check out my new house and have dinner. Mum said to me today that they would have one of the kids over that night just to make it a little eaiser and less fighting would be had. I thought Patrick would be the one as he wouldn't really give a rip about G and Patrick loves going to Mum and dad's. But in a surprise move Patrick chose not to!! Mum and I were speechless. Laura on the other hand though will be staying at Mum and dad's as she couldn't give a rip about G or the roast lol.
I am really struggling with study. I am just finding it so hard to study. I get home from work and I just want to sleep. I have two assignments due soon so I really need to do something. I am hoping I will be able to knock them on the head in the holidays. My house is a mess and I just don't have the energy to do anything even with that. But I am going to have to. Surely by now I should be over this and working things out and on top of things. I am not though. I like my me time but feel guilty even just watching TV.
I am also having heaps of trouble with my foot. I have no idea what is wrong with it. I had a referral for a X-ray last month but put it off but it has been getting worse so I went today but there is nothing wrong looking at that. It gets really sore standing on it at work but I can walk on it ok, I don't really limp. I can run etc and it is fine. Yet sitting here it is aching. It is swollen most of the time. I am going to have to go back to the doc with it. I hate that. I don't have time for that. But I have to I guess.
Will keep you updated.
oh by the way. I am so excited about G coming over. I really really need to get a life.
I am really struggling with study. I am just finding it so hard to study. I get home from work and I just want to sleep. I have two assignments due soon so I really need to do something. I am hoping I will be able to knock them on the head in the holidays. My house is a mess and I just don't have the energy to do anything even with that. But I am going to have to. Surely by now I should be over this and working things out and on top of things. I am not though. I like my me time but feel guilty even just watching TV.
I am also having heaps of trouble with my foot. I have no idea what is wrong with it. I had a referral for a X-ray last month but put it off but it has been getting worse so I went today but there is nothing wrong looking at that. It gets really sore standing on it at work but I can walk on it ok, I don't really limp. I can run etc and it is fine. Yet sitting here it is aching. It is swollen most of the time. I am going to have to go back to the doc with it. I hate that. I don't have time for that. But I have to I guess.
Will keep you updated.
oh by the way. I am so excited about G coming over. I really really need to get a life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
