Just another entry

I am so loving work at the moment. Ann-Marie has a trial all this week so I am in the office. It is different this time though. When I was in the office last time when she was away it was just me filling in. This time, although I am only filling in for a bit I know this is going to be my job. I have more interaction with the other staff. I find out more goss. (always important) And I have a better idea of what is happening around the store. Add to that the variety and the fact I am off register well what more can I say. When she does come back I don't know how I am going to cope being on registers again even for the little while until I start the new job.

D has me in a head spin again. I hadn't seen him since Sunday when we all went to the beach again. Only spoken to him once. That was when he rang and left a message on my phone saying "I drove passed your work and your car was there and now it isn't. Are you ok. Hope everything is ok. Ring me." Lol very sweet. I had just gone around to pick some stuff up for work and it was to big to carry all the way back so I drove.

But I rang him after I didn't see him on facebook. Apparently he has deleted it and himself off the dating site. Again. Says that he couldn't' see me as much as he is hurting me because he knows I want more and he can't offer more. So on the back of him saying that he came around tonight. Only stayed and hour or so. But it was so nice. We just chatted inside while the kids played outside. All the while him complimenting me on my looks and my weight loss. He kept saying you look different you have makeup on. Lol I always have makeup on. Granted I did my eyes a bit different which he noticed but I just said nothing is different. His response was well I must be looking at you in a different light.

Who knows what is happening. We didn't really talk about us much. Other than the fact he kept saying that nothing is going to happen between us. Relationship wise that is. I said I get that but I didn't want things to change from what we have.

Why do I get mixed up with guys that just aren't available? I really really like him. But he is just so mixed up in the head right now. I think he is starting to sort himself out but even so. One of the things he liked about not being in a relationship was the fact he could do whatever he liked etc. Now I don't know about anyone else but I thought for a guy to think like that he means he just wants to go out and be with different girls. Funny thing is D is not like that and tonight he said to me that he was trying to be like that and realised that he isn't.

Sex is not a huge thing with us. Only because he won't allow it to be because he worries I will get hurt. The sex is great when we do have it but we just don't have a lot of it. One night I said to him something along the lines of in a years time when we are sitting here blah blah. He said back Kate in a years time if we are together I know for a fact we will not be sitting here we will be busy doing other things!! And I will let you use your imagination for the the other things.

The thing he doesn't seem to get in his man head is that it isn't the sex side that will draw me in. It is the cuddles, it is the nice words, the spending time with my kids. They are the things that suck me right in. I have told him that but being a man it is all connected to his dick. So he figures I must think like that as well. lol.

So I don't know. Only a few weeks ago he was talking of moving to Mt Gambier, and that went by the way side. He is full of stuff to do but at the moment doesn't follow through. I am happy with the way things are if more comes of it in the future so be it but for now I just don't want things to change. For now I am happy to wait and see which way the wind blows. If it doesn't blow in my favour down the track well I will figure it out then. I just hope things don't change the way they are in the meantime.