So now what

So yeah he has a girlfriend. I went around there and he never said a word. We were good. He kissed me. Peck on the lips. We play fought. Have I said all this already? Anyway then I find out about the girlfriend.

So he was going to do my brakes today. I txt him Friday saying what time. He told me he wasn't sure has he was going to a party the night before and didn't know what state he would be in. I replied with no worries it is daylight savings so it didn't matter if it was late. I txt him yesterday with no reply saying I have the brakes. I will be home all day and I will see him when I see him Sunday. It is now nearly 6.30 and he is not here and has not contacted me. Why do I deserve to be treated like this. I am so pissed off at him.

Now to the other news. I went back on the dating site. And broke my rule. I accepted contact with a 25 year old. And we have freaking hit it off. I don't know what to do. We have been talking all yesterday and a lot of today. He lives an hour and half away which sucks especially as he lost his licence for dui. Arghhh. Everything else is great though.

G has told me to take it steady this time and I want to but it is really hard when this guy is so nice. I don't trust what he says. And he knows that but shit it is still nice to hear, especially from a young guy. We have web cammed it a couple of times. All clean of course. And he has seen me at my worst. First thing in the morning. It is freaking me out really. I have thrown everything at him. Every negative thing I can think of. Sort of like if he knows it all and decides to back out now I won't be as hurt as much. Rather than he gets it later and then runs when I am in deep.

I am angry and upset at A. I don't want him back for the simple reason I can't trust him. And now I can't trust any guy. All my insecurities are just screaming and then add to that that this guy is 10 years younger than me. Why oh why would he want me. He says he wants a woman who has her feet on the ground and won't mess him around. I did inform him that older women do that as well I am sure. But there you go. I don't want to hurt him but I need to look out for me as well and remember that. He is so nice though. Lol just like A was. I love it when we talk but I just don't trust it as well.

He is down this way tomorrow so he is popping into work. But we have our first date on Saturday. Breakfast. It is a bit different this time given we have sort of met because of the camera. But even so. I just do not know what I am doing. No clue.