Gut Feelings??????

So what is every one's views on gut feelings? Over the years I haven't listen to, what I now think of as, my gut feeling. (sorry changing the font it is late I have had a couple of southern comforts and can't be bothered highlighting it all)

When I was pregnant with the kids I knew what I was having but at the time I didn't listen to that. Didn't trust it I guess. Looking back at how I felt I now know I was right.

I can't think of anything else really off the top of my head but just general things I know I think and then it is confirmed. I don't know.

I guess the reason I am putting it out there is because of D. When I talked to him it was so different. I remember saying to one of the girls at work about how different it was. So comfortable. Of course she talked me into meeting him a couple of days later. That date went so well. Just hit it off and everything was perfect. For people who have been reading for a while will remember that he txt me the next day saying basically I was a nice girl but..... Not those words but that is what it was like. I was devastated. But it all ended good when it turns out he did really want to be friends but nothing else. (see he has been verbally honest even if his actions haven't been lol)

It is like I have known that he is a good fit for me. (see how even now I refrain from saying he is the one) A gut feeling that it will all work out. Many things have happened during our time of knowing each other. Him of course seeking friends with other women. (he is honest with them as well) and me constantly telling myself that they all suck and i am the best one. And honestly so far I have been the best fit for him. I have been the package. But he still wants to be free to take off when he likes. Of course i can't do that because of my kids.

So I still have that feeling. Even though it is all cooled off and we really are just friends in words and actions if that makes sense. But is it my gut feeling or is it my clinging to something? That is what I hate. I thought I would be more upset by it all but I am not. I am sad but not like I thought. Maybe because we are still truly friends or maybe because my gut says it is not over.

I am talking to all these guys on the net and it is just not the same. The little clicky feelings are not there to say that I could fit with this person. D grounds me. For the want of better words. He settles and calms me when I need to be. He just fits and has from the minute I first talked to him. I just don't know what to do. I really don't want to wait around forever for something that may not be there. He doesn't need me waiting around at the moment. Or do I just keep talking to these other guys and meeting them and hope that that feeling will come.

I just don't know what to do. I don't feel like I am clinging to D. Just a matter of fact feeling that it is not over and there is more. Perhaps if I was upset and clingy I would say it is just me? Fuck knows. I really really don't. I do know that I am wanting someone in my life. Happy is what I want to be. If nothing else D have really given me an insight into what I am really looking for. And that in turn is being told to these guys I am talking to. Stuff wasting time saying yes I want friends blah blah. Yeah I do want it to start as friends but they need to know ultimately I want that friendship to turn into more.

I need my prince charming to set off all those "gut feelings" in me and for him to be prepared to offer what I want. Mmmmm I wonder if that is indeed really possible?

who the fuck knows. Cos I most certainly don't