Just another ramble

The weekend just gone Raina made the trip to Adelaide. It was so great she did. We had a great time. Just like two friends chatting. Not two people who have only ever communicated over the Internet and never met. We had a great day. Just out and about a bit and lots of sitting and talking. She is a wonderful woman. It was really good to meet her son as well. He is a great young man. Especially putting up with lots of sitting and listening to us yak.

My roast dinner with D was interesting. I have always said to him there may come a time when I will get sick of it all and walk away. Saturday night he told me he was going out again with a woman he had met. He of course was very quick to assure me nothing would be going on with her and he was not looking for anything blah blah. Very sincere and I believe him. Because that is us. We are very honest and open and he tells me everything. I am not worried about him. I know he won't have sex with her etc. But she may like him. They may get on well together and will build something up.

Anyway the next morning over breakfast I told him that I thought I was getting closer to walking away from him. We talked about it a bit and I got up in the end and went to the bathroom to have a bit of a sook. He however rattled around the house, singing at the top of his voice, as if he didn't have a care in the world. Of course that upset me even more. I eventually came out of the bathroom and he said oh love this song come into the lounge room and listen to it before we leave. Of course we talked again. And I found out he does give a shit. He said you are dumping me! And he had real tears. I didn't really pay attention to it because I didn't think he would cry when he said see you have made me cry. OMG the man with a heart of steel does give a little shit and does not want to lose me. So we talked and talked some more. (Lol sorry Raina that as you know is why I took so long to get back to you!) Outcome that I will hang around longer.

The next night though when we spoke on the phone I really quizzed him about this woman. Turns out she kissed him. They spent ages together blah blah. He got a bit annoyed that I was quizzing him so much. Rightly so as I knew right from the beginning he is just flitting around.

I spent all bloody Monday at work sorting out what I was going to do with him. We get on so well. He doesn't want to lose me but is not ready to commit to a full on relationship (although it feels like we are in one sometimes and he has said that as well and it scares him). He will see this other woman. He is going overseas and will do what he likes. Do I walk away or what. In the end I decided to not walk away. I am better than this woman (long story about the people D and I are) and I will continue to be his friend and time will tell. But I will deal with my feelings. He has told me what he is doing so they are my feelings that need to be sorted not anything he does.

Monday afternoon he was spying on my kids for me as it was the first time they were walking home from school alone. So when I got home he was there with the kids having a blast watching playschool lol. Anyway when he left he said to me now we are alone I will show you something that I sent to someone. I started to freak out thinking great he really likes this woman etc. The txt he said was yeah enjoyed your company but it is only for mates that is all. Everything I has sorted out in my head was spot on. I really need to trust my instincts more. They always seem to turn out right but I never listen to them.

D came over last night and we had the nicest night. Just talking etc. Making plans. The night in town, the camping with the kids and him coming to qld in Oct. Yes it seems that he is very keen to come with us. He is helping me sort out some stuff with my kids and I love that. He stayed the night again. And again I had to leave him sleeping while I went to work. Which sucked but that is life.

We are such a good fit. He loves spending time with me. I make him feel so relaxed and happy, he says. We never argue. We just talk stuff through. We know where we stand with one another and I can't wait to see what happens when he gets back from his trip. Which he has shortened again to 4 weeks lol. He has also invited me to to Perth for his son's 18th birthday. We are good. And I just have to keep having that confidence and patience for now. He doesn't want to lose me he just needs to get a few things out of the way and then he will be ready. He told me last night that by the end of the year he will be settled. Which is a move from next year he will be settled lol.

So looking forward as usual to the stuff happening in my life. Now if only I could fit study in amongst it lol