Fine and dandy

Not much is happening. Well I say that and then usually type away for the next half hour.

Today I had taekwondo state selections. I was doing my poomse. My form. Oh my gosh I was so nervous. Poor A slept here last night and woke to find me a real mess. Freaking out at my kids and just generally being a mess.

He came with us and I even got him to drive my car. It being a ford and all he wasn't that keen. Lol actually I asked and he said yes that is fine straight away. So I did ok. I got pretty good marks even though I stuffed up my second form. Although it was ok. I recovered quick and finished. Something I have never been able to do before. I usually make a mistake and then forget the rest. I did end up with a gold medal only for the simple fact that I was the only one in my division. I feel like I won by default but I have to remember I got a good score.

After the comp we went to baskin and robbins. A loves the cookie dough one. It is funny watching us both eat these things trying to save the dough because is the best bit. Afterwards in the car the kids lost it and started really fighting. I worry so much that he will run because of my kids but he assures me he won't.

I did have my insecurities happen during the week. He didn't txt me and I got so worried as it is so unlike him. But he had his phone disconnected. He gets here though and everything his fine. He says the most amazing things to me. I am his girlfriend and that is how he wants it. So why oh why do I get so insecure when I am not with him. I really want to get over that. I guess one thing is like someone said to me, least I know I do it.I am aware of it and I can work on it. If anyone can offer suggestions I am open to it. I do worry a huge amount that he is not going to stick around. I really want to be able to stop that.

Anyway the reality is that everything is wonderful with A. For all those reasons and then some that I mentioned in that other post. I really hope he does stick around because so far I am liking what I have.