Part two

So last weekend I spent at A's. Friday night through to Monday morning when I went to work. We did come back to my place to feed the animals and get clean clothes.

It was so nice. First time I had stayed at his place. It was like a little holiday. He of course spoilt me rotten. Cooked me breakfast both Saturday and Sunday morning. He has a king bed. OMG it is massive. I loved it.

This week I have really struggled. Struggled with my insecurities. I guess they hit at about Wednesday. The day before my birthday. A has been working a fair bit. I hadn't seen him since Monday morning and I missed him so much. Mum and dad are away. I really didn't know what was going on with me. But I felt so alone. Like I had no one. A's phone was being stupid again and it was really hard to get him on the phone. Finally after dinner I got him and I was just so depressed and everything was just whirling around in my head. Things like him going to Qld and what if the courts didn't allow me to. Just crap really.

He was home and there were people there. People he works with and friends. Only a couple and that made me feel worse because he has all these people around him and coming for his birthday gathering (as we called it) and I felt I had no one. He knew something was up with me and I was teary but I couldn't tell him. In the end he just said he would call me later in the night. I had a crap evening. Just a sooky one. After thinking he wasn't going to call me back, etc etc. He called me. And he of course just said all the right things. Like I am his partner and should be able to tell him etc. It was nice to hear that. I of course did end up telling him. It was all fine. He cheered me up.

I figured out though why I was like this. It was because of my birthday. It was like no one cared about my birthday. Mum and dad were away. The kids had no clue. Which really is ok because why would they. Even A said to me you know I don't get paid until tonight so you won't get your present until Friday. It was like geez you have known for weeks why did you leave it this long. Typical guy though. I also didn't know if I would see him for my birthday.

But the day turned out fine although a bit crap to start with. Jason, a young, trainee manager at work, whom I get on really well with, did a little birthday jig for me. Made me laugh so much. He also ended up buying me a mud cake at lunch time for me. (only a cheap woolies one but even so it meant alot to me even if it wasn't' intended that way.) A also came in and had lunch with me. Omg it was so good to see him. And he gave me a present. An anklet. (he was spot on with what he got) I went over to his place after work to fix his bloody computer. Honestly those boys really need to rethink what sites they look at. I was very close to saying I couldn't fix it but then more good luck than good management I managed to open a program. Drove me insane though as I just have to fix it. And when I couldn't I hated it.

When he came over to my place later he gave me another present. Perfume. Lol he said he had no clue what else to get me but then thought perfume. Then he had to remember what I already had. I would have love to have seen him trying to find something. He got me Intimacy. Victoria Beckham. It is lovely.

It was a nice night. Relaxing and just enjoying being with each other. And I really really need to remember that this guy wants to be with me so much. As he keeps telling me. He is not going anywhere. I love that so much.

Now to D. This is rather funny. He has basically deleted me out of his life. I think it is a bit funny. He came back on facebook and made some comments. I did a couple of comments back but nothing major. I said to A that I didn't think that I really want him as a friend on there. A said delete him and I was going to but not straight away so it looked awful. Next thing I know he has deleted me. I am all that is so not fair I wanted to do it first lol. So I txt him. Made a joke out of it. But he had even deleted my number as he didnt' know who it was at first. He rang me and we chatted a bit. I can't remember what I said but he then said oh you really hate me now lol. Anyway as the conversation was drawing to a close I said well I won't take it to heart that you have defriended me. He goes oh I knew you wouldn't. I sort of deleted a few people. And that was about all the information I got. Damn it.

When I was with him. He often spoke about some female friends of his and how they all wanted to be with him blah blah. So I am thinking that on facebook he saw all the stuff about A. All the good stuff. And realises that I don't think he is as wonderful anymore and have no desire to be with him now.

The other thing is now how many people are saying they never really liked him. Karen was the first one. She told me that she would tell me the truth about A. As she never really liked D but just never said anything. I did say it wouldn't matter as I would have to find out myself. But like I said to A, I guess it would be doubt in my mind. But so far he made an impression on those from work. So I am not worried. He certainly treats me a lot better than anyone ever has before.

I guess I should go. I think I am out of things to say. Other than Qld is coming up and I can't wait. Very excited.