Just an update 24th December 09

So.... sorry I have been busy.....

First thing....D. Well things had been very up and down. Although he had decided not to see this woman again he was still looking and keeping me at an arms length. A week ago we had a bit of an argument. I don't even know what over. We had already decided, we, he had and I agreed, that there would be no relationship type behaviour, like kissing, sex, you know all of that. He was worried I would get hurt. I did tried to tell him that I would get hurt with or without that but that is what was fixed in his head so I let him go.

So this argument ended with it being decided that we wouldn't see each other as much and I would date again. It all ended ok with us still friends etc. So two nights later I went out on a date. It was pretty dull. But I did it. D came around the next night to help me put together Laura's desk/bed. I had on a dress which he found very nice. I kept it all above board. He didn't. He kept telling me how gorgeous I looked. His hands wondered a few times, which I stopped. He quizzed me about my date. Going over the top about how great he thought it was. To the point that it was obvious that he was worried. He mentioned that he did think he was cutting his own throat by letting me go.

All in all a good night. It was fun. He had a great time as well.

The next afternoon he rolls up unannounced to take me for a drive along the beach. That surprised me.

The following night was his Aunty's 80th birthday which he had invited me to. It was a great night with everyone telling him he was crazy for only just being friends with me.

We came back to my place and the whole friends thing just went out the window. It was so nice. We just messed around, talked etc. It was a lovely night and we finally dragged ourselves off to bed at about 3.30am. He just said so many nice things and one of those was I don't want you to see other guys. I laughed. I did say you don't really mean that. He just sort of said I guess not, I don't know.

And now after it being called off after the argument, we are going away. Just for the two nights. I am so excited. Just to relax and spend time not worrying about anything.

I don't know what is going to happen with D. But he is getting in deeper. If it is meant to be it is meant to be. It will be interesting to see what happens while we are away. Fingers crossed it is all good. I know that I just intend to have fun and just enjoy it. I have fallen for him, he has made it a little hard for me not to. It is I guess just up to him to decide what he is going to do.

Work.....work is full on. I survived my two weeks in the office, I really enjoyed it. This week I am supervising the front end. I am going to hate going back on register full time. The manager knows this so hopefully when things settle something will change.

Kids..... are driving me insane. Really really insane. I need this break away from them and the everything else. It is all very well not having them for the week but I still have to work etc. I need this time off to just get my shit back together and find my patience again. I have lost it I think.

That is the update for now I guess. Sorry the grammar sucks. I have just done it really really quickly because who knows when I will update again.