and the results are in

So I am all over the place at the moment. Which I put down to having my period. Now this is way to much info but my blog so I will talk about it. This is the period that I didn't have to have but apparently need to have. I hate having my period and yes I guess most people do but mine are so heavy and horrible that it cuts a week out of my life. I don't get craps usually but just the heaviness of it is enough to kill me. I hate going to work. I can't go to taekwondo. (think white uniform)

Anyway I am just feeling lousy today. Niggly headache and just yuk. That of course is making me emotionally crap as well. I have been generally ok with the whole D thing but today it is bugging me. As it was late yesterday afternoon after a really good day.

Now I had my coloscopy Monday. What a horrible day that was. I was teary before I even went in there. All around me were people with cancer. It being a cancer clinic and all. The procedure itself was horrible and I was a mess. Good news though no cancer. Yep no cancer!!! But as normal I was just a complete mess during and after. I sat in my car afterwards just bawling my eyes out. I wanted D with me. Because he had been there for all the other things. I just felt so alone.

I went and saw Karen afterwards. It was really good to catch up with her. Got all teary there as well. Was such a foul day. That night though I got up with Keri from work. (well she now works at another store) I wasn't going to go out but she talked me into it. We went to Bracegirdles at Glenelg and just talked and talked for ages. She seems to think I have not heard the last of D but I am not holding my breath. We then went two doors up and got take away baskin and robbins. Which I ate Tuesday night. Yumo.

I have been chatting a lot to Raina. It has been great. I loved catching up with Karen and Keri but it is not the same as having a friend that you see all the time etc and talk and off load etc. I know I don't get to see Raina but being able to have chats has made me feel less alone.

The one thing that has been making me feel really really good is my weight. (apart from today when nothing I think would make me feel better.) I am the lowest I have been in a couple of years and I am on track to getting it lower. Did I mention that I had said to D that by the time he comes back I would be where I wanted to be weight wise? well I said that to him. Of course that was before he became a total prat and traded me in for someone else. But I knew that was the motivation I needed. So even though I may never see him again that date has stuck in my mind and I am working towards it. And I love how good it makes me feel. The only trouble though is that is costing me a fortune in work clothes. Especially work pants.

Did I mention I don't have cancer???? Guess what, I don't have cancer. So though what is causing all my problems? The doc there said that it could be the oestrogen in the pill making my cervix sensitive. So off the pill I go. Hence the period from hell. I see the registrar in a couple of weeks and from there it will probably be a hystereoscopy. And put in merina. Fingers crossed that will be the end of my problems.

I had better go. My chicken casserole that has been cooking all day is probably ready now.