The good times roll on...

The weekend just gone was A's birthday do. I ended up asking Matt to look after the kids for the night. I feel guilty about it even now but I am glad I did. It meant I could stay longer and not worry about kids.

It was really nice to meet more of A's friends and family. It was also interesting to see him stressing a little bit. I got there at about 2.30 I guess and people were told it started at 4pm. He was in the process of cooking a feast. He had 2 chickens in the oven, roast lamb and beef in the webber with the typical roast veg with it. A tuna bake, spag bog, his spinach dip and other nibbles happening. I couldn't believe how much food he had. He was still going at about 6pm I guess with the food. Although he would go out to everyone once in a while he was mainly in the kitchen. He wasn't stressed stressed but it is hard to describe. Just suffice to say that I have never seen him like that and it was interesting that is for sure. All good. It was just funny to see him like that when he is normally so cool and calm.

I had met a couple of A's friends before but it was nice to see them again and spend more time with them talking. Especially M. She was great. It was really good talking to her. It was interesting talking to her about A as well. She has known him for about 8 years and they were together for a while but it didn't work out. They are better friends. But she said that he really really likes me and wants me in his future. We talked about my insecurities. And she made the comment that if I pulled back I would see his insecurities. She also said that he really wants to get to know my kids more and be in their lives.

A and I were talking the next morning. I didn't want to turn back into a mum again. Was just feeling a bit down as I wasn't in the mood for fighting kids. Anyway he said it wouldn't be long before they would come to his house etc. (he shares a house so it is all a bit hard) That he wouldn't take any crap from them and they would be told if need be. Sounds funny typing it all out but it was nice.

He is already starting to make the kids step. Lachlan came up to me the other day wanting me to open something. As I took it from Lachlan A said "please!" because Lachlan hadn't said it. Just little things like that. A's friend M works with kids and she said something to me that made sense to me. The boys may be trying to be the man of the house. I don't think it is so much with Lachlan but with Patrick yes. Things like telling Laura not to put her necklace in her mouth. Things like that. He shouldn't be doing that. That is my job.

Anyway the party was great. I had a great time. Drunk a lot but not enough to feel sick which was very nice. A left early this morning (1am) to go to Roxby Downs for work. He is back hopefully Saturday night. I miss him. It is funny. He has been txting me on and off all day. He rang me a few hours ago. They had finished work but were going back to work at 8.30pm. He is going to be stuffed when he gets home. He misses me!

It is so hard to believe I have this man in my life that really wants to be with me. Wants to spend the rest of his life with me. So unlike D. I love the attention. I love the fact that it has been over 2 months and things have not changed. A has not changed. He is just himself. I love it.

I went home early from work today. If it had been any other day I wouldn't have even gone in. I feel like crap. I had a cold a couple of weeks ago but not like this. It is horrible. I can't stand up for any length of time. I have slept most of the day. Trying to get a doctors appointment is crazy. I am off to the hospital tomorrow as that is where the surgery's are telling me to go!!!