revisiting the past

Ian my lawyer wanted me to write down everything that has been going on in a chronological order. Geez it is yuk reading everything again. Things like Matt telling the kids I was in hospital last year because I had a baby in me!!! Even if that was true why say it to the kids??????

Dad and I went back to the old house (already it is the old house) today to collect the trampoline and swing set plus all the crap out of my shed. Alot of crap is still there and tomorrow we are going back to pull down the shed. I am badly sunburnt. Mainly on my arms. It sucks. I just hope my nose didn't get burnt as it is red enough without any help.

Hey just as an aside, I just noticed my keyboard. Many of the letters have rubbed off, which is fine as I touch type. But I just saw in the light the N key has all these little dents in it. It is from my fingernails. I grow my nails long and it is the position of those keys means that I hit it with my nail not my finger like I do the middle and top keys. The V and the C obviously do not get a big of a work out than the N. Weird little fact about my life lol.

So my house..... well all three kids now have blinds and they were a bitch to put up but thank god for dad's cordless drill. It was hard enough with that than try to use my cord one. My room is sorted, the kitchen and dinning room are sorted. Patrick's room is looking ok. That is thanks to him though. Laura and Lachlan need theirs sorted. I need to put curtains up in my room and the slider doors. The computer desk still needs sorting as does the kids desk. Slowly I am getting there.

So much to do.........

Last time I moved house I had it all organised in a week because Greg was coming over the next weekend. Lol it was the second time I was to see him. Oh God this time it is awful. I just want to get it done but trying to fit it around three kids and work it is so hard. I am so tired it isn't funny.

However I love my new house. It is nice to have a big room. It is nice to have a big family area, nice to have a big dining area!! Of course there are little things that annoy me but all in all I love it. It will be nicer when everything is unpacked and away.

In regards to the Matt crap well that is not looking good. My lawyer seems to the think that the school thing is bad. He said because although I sent Matt a letter and Matt has made known the fact that he didn't want to the kids to change schools that I am in the wrong. I should have sought mediation etc. The thing is I left it in his court and he did nothing. The way I see it is that he should have done something. To me it is so logical. But apparently the courts won't see it like that. I am really ticked off. Because I did this there is a very high possibility that the kids have to return to their old school not the school that is across the road from my house!! To me it is in the best interests of the children to go to this school. It is closer and at the end of the day when I am at work the kids can still come back to this house and bring friends over while mum and dad are there. The kids have been spending a couple of days in vacation care and have loved it. They have made friends with people who are going to be in their class and are looking forward to starting the new school.

I think Ian tried to call me today but I was at work. I will try to call on Tuesday and make a time to go in, I assume to sign my affidavit. I have applied for legal aid but am not hopeful. I didn't get a bond from the housing trust so it is all going to be a costly experience again.

The good thing though, Matt is going for more time with the kids. Ian seems very positive that won't happen. I hope not. The school thing I would be upset about and it will be a pain in the butt travelling over 30 minutes to take the kids to a school when there is one across the street but to have Matt have more time with the kids will kill not only me but the kids as well. I can't remember if I was freaking out this much last time this all happened but I certainly am this time.

Please everyone just pray that nothing gets changed, the kids get to change schools and that it gets decided on the day and no interim orders done. My life was starting to look up this is just not fair. I am sick of all the knocks that keep coming my way.

oh so tired

Everyday this week I have been doing the whole work, come home, pack the car and then paint until about 9.30. I am over it. Pissed off at the co-op etc. But oh well two more sleeps and I can move.

The lino went in today into the bedrooms and looks really nice. I got time off work today. I said to Mark if you need to send anyone home early I will volunteer. So I worked 3 hours. I need the money but I got so much done today so that was good.

Karen is coming to help me on Sunday. I have the stove sprayed with stuff and I will clean it in the morning. I hope. My house is a mess and I am having trouble packing up and moving things because there is no where really to put them when I take them to the new house because I need to make sure there is room for when the furniture comes.

I had my 7 week appraisal at work today. I was in the office barely a minute. All was good, improved and all that so that was great. I guess they are happy with me. That was the time to tell me if they weren't I would have thought.

Ok this is just a bit rambly really isn't it? Sorry. It is a bit how I feel.

lol and just to prove that I have gotten up this morning to find that I didn't finish this last night. Opps.

A Contract

I signed a contract with Dan's today. I officially have 36 hours per week. I will get holidays and sick pay. I think my pay if I have looked at the EBA correctly is $576 per week. Before tax. Let me go and look at the tax tables. $496 per week. Looking at it like that it is such a pissy amount. But I should still get some Centrelink money. I still do at the moment. My rent will go down as well. I will work that out in a minute.

The only thing is I work every Saturday. Normally wouldn't bother me but I miss out on the kids sports. I will have to try and wangle different times sometimes so I can see them play.

So my hours will be Tuesday 9-3, Wednesday 8-4, Thursday 8-4, Friday 9-5 and Saturday 9-5. So considering I have kids they are good hours. I can drop the kids off to school and pick them up Tuesdays. Friday I can take them to school and the other days they can go to mum and dad's or OSCH. Either way it isn't for a long time. I can still take them to all their out of school stuff. I don't miss out on taekwondo and I can even go to the competition training on Thursdays. Yeah I am pleased with it.

I am moving Monday. I see my lawyer in the morning and then the movers come at 1. Not sure how I am paying for all of this but we shall see. I have an appointment with Housing SA Thursday to hopefully get a bond. Not holding my breath and I have put in my legal aid app but again not holding my breath. I went to the house after work and it is getting closer to being finished. I have only just gotten home and am going to bed in a tick. So the wet areas need to be done. All the doors and a vanish on the woodwork. The electrician can't come until Tuesday which is a pain. I won't have a stove until then but I will live. It was mainly him putting in some extra powerpoints that I wanted. Oh well. Least I will be in.

I am going to like it there I know I am. There is just so much more room. I can have a master bedroom instead of a little room. The air con is great but just the area being so close to the beach means a good sea breeze.I think I will try and google earth it and put the link here. Hold on. Oh bugger I can't do it. I probably could work it out if I had time but I can't I want to go to bed. Sorry.

Ok out of here.

Despite everything

Despite being busy, despite spending time with people at work, I am so lonely. I hate coming home to no one. I hate not having anyone other than my mum calling me to see how my day was. I just want someone to give a shit. I want someone to want to be with me.

Yeah I want I want. But that is how I feel.

Birthday girl

My little girl turns 8 today!! They go to their dad's tomorrow so I gave her singstar a couple of days ago so she could enjoy it. I got a great deal. $99 for the bundle plus another singstar game. It is so funny doing it.

IT was the perfect gift though. The other day I caught her on the trampoline with her mp3 player on and she was dancing!! Lots of arm movements, which just reminded me of the supremes!! Oh she had me in stitches. Lucky she didn't see me watching or she would have died.

Waiting for the boss to come back on Monday from holidays to sign a contract. Bloody Mark tells me that I have two contracts to chose from but that is all the info he gives me!! There is so much happening at work. There is a trainee manager who just pisses me off. He acts all high and mighty but in reality just pisses me off. Thing is though he is pissing everyone off. Including the boss. (Mark) I know this because Mark told me!!!!

It has been so quiet though at work. They are so over staffed. Mark is slashing the roster and people are not going to be happy but we seriously do not need that many people. I haven't seen the latest one yet. Monday I guess it will be up. I hope my hours are ok. They should be as I am one of about 4 people they are putting on a contract. Apart from one girl who was a transfer from Woolworths and as such already on one, I am the only checkout chick going on a contract. I feel special lol.

Call into the house on the way home. The lounge dinning area looks great with one coat all round. One bedroom is just about done as well. I really really hope it is done by next Friday but who knows.

Ok that is me done. Can you tell it has cool down. I am not as grumpy. Still stressing about everything and even though I am working I am still concerned about money. But I guess that will settle after I move and all this court crap is out the way. God I hope my lawyer wipes the floor with Matt I really do.

Will this month never end....

I am hot, tired and grumpy. It was still 37.5 degrees at 7.30 tonight. Yuk.

So what is happening in my life at the moment. I am looking after 3 kids, working, trying to study, trying to fix up a house to move into. I am feeling guilty for not exercising. Oh so guilty.

I am also trying to sort out my pay which work continually get wrong. As well as sort out legal aid and housing bond forms. Both of which will probably be pointless as I may earn to much. I am in the middle ground money wise. Where I earn to much to get anything but not enough to really be able to afford it myself.

So I got served. Did I mention that? Matt is wanting week on week off with the kids and if I work after 5 he wants to pick the kids up from school and then take them to school the next day. Which means I wouldn't see them often at this rate. Of course I am not happy about this.

He also put in there that mum and dad are not capable of looking after the kids because mum is on an invalid pension. Three lively children will be to much of a burden on them. Now mum is on a disability pension. She is an incomplete para. Now does this mean that para's are not capable of looking after children????

And he is saying he wants an injunction to preventing me putting the kids in Aldinga school. As I am doing this despite his objections. Ok he objects but why didn't he do something about it earlier???? What are his objections? That he doesn't want them to go? Why not? And why didn't he attempt to talk about it with me. Again technically I should be ok with the court thing in regard to all of this but I am still scared.

The house: ok it is being painted. Not as fast as I would like. The lino is going down next Friday. I am hoping to move in a couple of days after that. Of course that is the time I have an appointment with Ian on the day I have off so that is pissing me off as well. Bloody Matt messes everything up.

ok I am sweltering here. I need to hang clothes out and then I am going to bed with the water cooler on me. I can't wait to move!

Smells like.......

Went to the new house today to check out what the cleaner was doing. Dad has mainly dealt with him so it was nice to meet him. Nice guy. He was telling me they found the source of the smell. It was the washing machine that was left behind with clothes and full of water! It had been there for a long time by the look of it he said. Yuk.

The house is coming up lovely. Everything has been disinfected and it is looking good. When I went back later to get the key so I could get it cut he showed me how good the roller shutters had come up. It just looks clean as opposed to what it looked like last time. He is finished tomorrow he said and the guy will clean the carpet at 10.00. I will go to the floor covering place tomorrow and pick out lino for the bedrooms. Then pick up some stuff from Home Hardware and we start the prep work for painting. Hopefully I can get a bomb under dad. Mum said he is feeling a bit shitty about things and not wanting to do stuff. I think he is probably just worn out but I need him to hang in there a bit longer.

On the Matt the shit side of things well i have an appointment with my lawyer on the 21st. I didn't get to speak to him and I am still freaking out a bit but not much I can do about it. Who knows which way it will go. I do tend to think the worst but it scares me. I did find out that it is only a duty hearing. So they may decide that it needs to go to mediation first. Or they may decide they need to go into it more. Or hey they may decide to send the kids back to Reynella.

It is not like I am just sending the kids to a new school. They went to transition, so they met their teacher and their class mates. They go into vacation care a couple of times as well so hopefully will meet a couple of kids from their classrooms. I just hope that in the week that they are at school before court they have a good time and start to make friends. It will be interesting though. They go to school and then off to Matt's on the Friday and then are still in his care on the Monday of court. What is he going to do? Not pick them up from Aldinga? Not take them to Aldinga on the Monday. He claims he has had Reynella saved their spots there. But who knows. I can't ring them yet to find out.

And down the guggler we go again.

Just when you think yeah things are ok, shit happens.

I am going back to court. 4/2. Matt is taking me back to court about the kids changing schools. I have no paperwork yet but it is coming. The kids told me and then I thought stuff it I will ring. More on that in a tick.

Background: Can't remember what I have said. But I am moving and it is very very close to a school. I am only moving 10 minutes further away from where I am now. I wrote Matt a letter in August saying I was moving and wanted the kids to change schools. I laid out why etc and that if he could get back to me with his objections so that we could sort things out. Of course he never got back to me. Just sent me a 10 page letter full of crap with one line about the school saying "did not think they should change schools". So only early last term I enrolled them in the school.

When I rang him today I found out he is representing himself. "oh I don't think there will be any need for a lawyer" I asked him why he didn't do all this months ago and he said he told me that he didn't want them to go to the school. I told him that is stating a fact and that it needed negotiation. He dribble on some more and finally said you are going to have to explain myself. I asked explain what and he said the video. Of course I have no idea what that was and said as such. "the video of you humping some guy in a limo you slut" and then hung up. It is nice to know that I know this is not true. That it is just total crap. But it is scary as he believes the stories he makes up. He believes them so much that I worry he will convince others.

I know I have a fairly good case here. Especially given that he is representing himself. But I am still scared. Still stressed and still worried. I don't need this. I don't need the cost. (oh that has given me a thought I may ask my lawyer to go for costs.) I just don't need this. I also don't have time for it. I am struggling with my studies, work and housework. I now have to find time to see Ian and get to together everything that has been building up since we were in court last.

Fingers crossed that when we get there it goes my way. That he gets his time reduced. (that is what else he is going for, more time so I will fight that)But I know what crap he will trot out and that scares me.

ok moving on. Putting Chloe down was hard. Awful in fact. But she is now out at Karen's and free from pain. Poor Brinkley is a bit lost. Hey I am as well. I miss her.

It is so bloody hot here. 38 it got to today. And next week it is back up to 41. I can't wait to move because of the air con.

A New Year

I had a good new year. I wasn't going to go the party and Shane and Kath's but Karen talked me into it. I stayed at their their place last night. The party was good. I didn't get as drunk as last year but still those cowboy shots knock you about. As the last 3 years I was the youngest adult there. I got a bit teary at one point as I didn't have my kids and didn't have a man who wanted to hold me like Simon held Karen.

I have to admit I am totally jealous of what Karen and Simon have. He loves her so much. He sees her as the most gorgeous thing on earth and just respects and admires her. I have never ever had anything close to that. I know you don't know what goes on behind closed doors but you can't fake what they have. You can't change what is in people's eyes.

ok moving on. Today I spent at Karen's. Poor Simon was in a bit of fragile state this morning, so Karen made the bacon and egg breakfast. Yum. We then spent 2 hours doing my bloody accounting assignment. Thank god it is almost done. We then spent the rest of the in the pool or next to it. It was so hot again it was such a nice thing to be doing.

Tomorrow I am having Chloe put down. Poor thing she is so skinny and wonky on her legs. She is constantly trying to cough up something or that is what it sounds like. She is not eating. The time has come. I am burying her out on Karen's property. It is going to be very sad but we knew it was coming. I am glad the kids aren't going to be around. They will be upset but not as upset as they would be if they around me when it happens.

That is me done for now. Feeling lonely and sad even after a great day and night. There is just that one thing missing in my life and I miss it dearly.