A New Year

I had a good new year. I wasn't going to go the party and Shane and Kath's but Karen talked me into it. I stayed at their their place last night. The party was good. I didn't get as drunk as last year but still those cowboy shots knock you about. As the last 3 years I was the youngest adult there. I got a bit teary at one point as I didn't have my kids and didn't have a man who wanted to hold me like Simon held Karen.

I have to admit I am totally jealous of what Karen and Simon have. He loves her so much. He sees her as the most gorgeous thing on earth and just respects and admires her. I have never ever had anything close to that. I know you don't know what goes on behind closed doors but you can't fake what they have. You can't change what is in people's eyes.

ok moving on. Today I spent at Karen's. Poor Simon was in a bit of fragile state this morning, so Karen made the bacon and egg breakfast. Yum. We then spent 2 hours doing my bloody accounting assignment. Thank god it is almost done. We then spent the rest of the in the pool or next to it. It was so hot again it was such a nice thing to be doing.

Tomorrow I am having Chloe put down. Poor thing she is so skinny and wonky on her legs. She is constantly trying to cough up something or that is what it sounds like. She is not eating. The time has come. I am burying her out on Karen's property. It is going to be very sad but we knew it was coming. I am glad the kids aren't going to be around. They will be upset but not as upset as they would be if they around me when it happens.

That is me done for now. Feeling lonely and sad even after a great day and night. There is just that one thing missing in my life and I miss it dearly.