Bloody insecurities

I don't know if time will solve my insecurities or not. I can but hope I guess. I have been in years of relationships that have been crap and filled with insecurities so it stands to reason that nearly three months is not going to be enough to make it all ok.

The situation that caused this little burst of insecurities? A had been ringing me basically everyday. I have not seen him a lot the last couple of weeks due to him being away and him working nights this week and I am missing him but I understand. Anyway, I was feeling a bit ordinary today and I rang him to have a chat because I knew that he would cheer me up. I rang and then rang again a few hours later. I figured that he probably was asleep. I tried a couple of times after as he is a slacko when it comes to listening to his messages. But then it got to the point where I thought I can't ring again as it will be stalker material, but I was starting to freak out a bit. Imagining him finding someone else, being dead, deciding he didn't like me anymore. All of those stupid things.

I txt him this afternoon. He rang back a while after that. He had basically been asleep all day as he hadn't gone to bed until nearly 5am because of work. Then he was just slack in checking his phone. There was nothing for me to worry about. He was just his normal self. He said I should have popped around after work like I sometimes do. But I didn't feel like I could because lol hey I was imagining him in bed with someone else. And yet realistically I know that is not going to happen.

Now this is my problem. I am much better than what I was, I know that. It is only on days like these where I don't hear from him that I worry. When I have no idea if he is just sleeping or what the story is. A knows I have these insecurities and I know enough to not put it on him much. But he does understand and he has seen me get better with it. So I guess it is just time and he has said that to me. So while there is improvement happening, then I should be ok with that and not stress about it.

Regardless I am falling for this guy. And I know he feels the same. The reason I know he feels the same? "I miss you babe and I am falling deeper and deeper the more I am with you" A txt message from the other day.

Yes I made you all vomit again.