Little snots

I honestly believe that I have the most selfish, ungrateful, fighting children that ever existed.

They do nothing around the house unless I am on at them 100 times to do it. The fight constantly. I really don't want to be around them. They are really horrible and I don't know what to do about it.

They really do not give a shit unless it concerns them. Last Tuesday when I was really sick, the sickest I have ever been in my life, They were horrible. I was sorting out fights from my bed, not one of them asked if their was anything they could do for me. In fact they asked if they were still going swimming.

They wonder why I yell all the time. Well I certainly do not start off yelling but it gets to that point when they constantly do not do what they are told.

Patrick's job is to do the dishes. They need to be done before 7.30 at night. He is hopeless at doing it. I even said at about 6.45 dishes are all here. And I get the I know said in a real yuk voice. Hour later he still hadn't done them and wondered why I was angry. He thinks he helps out. He doesn't. He empties the bins and does the dishes. When I tell him to. That is it. He is 12.

Am I setting the bar to high? Do I have unrealistic expectations? All I know is that I am so run down my body is getting sick and I am not getting better very quickly. How bad is that I just do not want my kids at the moment? They have pushed me and pushed me and I am ashamed. I hate going out with them because I am ashamed.

I am in tears because I don't know what to do. I want nice kids. I want kids that just don't fight that much. I want kids who actually appreciate everything I do for them and don't just see it as my job so I should be doing it. I know they are out there. I have seen it. Other people's kids are not as bad as mine. I know that for a fact. So it comes down to the fact that I am a failure as a parent and I don't know what to do.