Getting my head right......

So....lol geez. I got a txt from M late last night saying she had been thinking and didn't want to get involved with A and I relationship. That is fine. I have no drama with that at all. I just don't know what M has said to A.

But anyway. After having no contact today despite the fact I rang and txt I was starting to get pissed off. I finally got hold of him at about 7pm. Everything is fine. Seriously fine. He brought up about the dumping thing. M had said that. Yeah thanks M. (I think it is better she stays out of it as well really lol) So we ended up talking about things. I didn't bring up the dating site thing for a bit though. I told him that I wanted to settle down. I wanted to be with someone who loved and respected me and wanted to be with me forever. Blah blah. He said he wanted the same. Then the dating thing came up. I don't know if M told him or if he really did figure it out that he had been suckered in. Either way we spoke about it and like he said he has always been up front about it etc. Which he has. He has no interest in being with these women. He has a girlfriend and that is me.

He spins me out. He was so calm, and fine with it all. He did say that he has felt a bit smothered lately. I get that. That is my insecurities. I think I will say to him that if he ever feels smothered there must be something going on in my head and I am worried about us.

I am just sitting here thinking that I can't believe he didn't get angry. I have never been around someone like this.

So what it comes down to is this.....I need to chill. I need be secure in the fact that this man wants to be with me. And although I may not hear from him sometimes it doesn't matter. It means that he is busy. Work changed and he didn't get home until 5am and as such he has slept through my txt.

A few other things have happened with work etc but I am tired. This is the first chance since getting home I have actually sat down for longer than 5 minutes. And I am actually in bed about to go to sleep.

I could say all is right with the world now but I have friends who are hurting so all is not right with the world. And I wish I could fix things for them as easily as I can for myself.