well well well

Been a bit slack but quite a bit has happened. J contacted me last Friday with a txt saying why wasn't I talking to him. I told him it was because I deserved and wanted more than he was giving me. It went back and forth for a while. Then he rang me. I basically told him unless he came up with a date and time and followed through I was not going to talk to him. Then hung up. Two hours later I got a date and time. Now I know you are all saying hasn't this happened before. Well yes it has. But I set the conditions and now I just have to wait and see. the 14th is THE DATE. It was sweet of him because it is really hard to find a date where we are both free because of the kids. I do have my kids that day but he thought I didn't. It is school holidays so I will have them that day but they are having their first sleep over at mum and dad's so they are excited by that. OF course it may not happen but we shall see.


Saturday night I went out to my Aunty's house for tea. It was a family do as mum and dad were there etc. ON the way home I had a car accident. A guy ran a red light and I ploughed straight into him. Luckily my light had been red so when it turned green I had only just taken off so wasn't going very fast. The front bumper and bull bar of my car is totally dead with each side panel being damaged as well as the bonnet. (which I can't open as the bull bar has bent over it). The other guy has no insurance. Which is good in a way as it means my insurance company has no other insurance company to fight with, and I don't have to pay an excess as I didn't contribute to the accident. If he had insurance they would say I contributed by the simple fact I was on the road. It is getting fixed in a couple of weeks. Poor Laura though. She was holding fruit salad that of course ended up of all over her and her beanie kids. She was devastated. Mum and dad washed them though and they came up great.

Had my PT session yesterday. So much better than the week before. I still need to improve though and am working on it.

Grading is next week. My calf had been so much better until last night. I got into it a bit to much again last night and it has started hurting again. It had been really good until then. So back to resting it again. Pissed off. Once grading is done I have a break from taekwondo and I think that will help.

I think that is it really. Just hanging in there doing my stuff. Still nothing from the cops. If I knew it was going to take this long I would have put in my application months ago. Never mind.

knock knock anyone there

Honestly I can be so thick sometimes. I saw G today for my PT session. It was awful. My fitness level has dropped. I felt sick and like I was going to pass out. He quizzed what I had eaten and when I told him he gave the whole "well what do you expect" look. I hadn't been at the gym since last week and G is right. I can still do stuff even with my calf being sore. So back into it today. I just did cardio but certainly got up a sweat. Tomorrow I will do my weights and now I have a way of doing lunges without putting pressure on my calf so it is all good. I do not have to miss anything out now.

I didn't do taekwondo this week. Shit that was hard. I did do my forms but that was it. Grading in a couple of weeks. Already I am getting nervous.

Hey G indicated that he is looking forward to meeting my parents. It came out of the blue as I was about to leave the gym. I said to him that I hadn't met his mum and he went oh yeah. May have to look into that! lol It just threw me that is all.

I haven't spoken to J since Friday. That hurts. He is not prepared to fight for me. He is just prepared to let me go. Yes I know I have been down this road before. It is easier this time so I think, well hopefully, he will wonder that perhaps this time he pushed a little to hard?

I just compare him to G. He and I have a great relationship. Who would have thought after the whole FB thing we had going that we could just drop that and pretend it didn't even happen. G is prepared to have me for a friend. J isn't even prepared to do that. He can't even meet me. That hurts big time especially after we had been talking for 2 years. Hurts like nothing else.

and so the fun begins

Had our co-op meeting today. This was after having our METs (membership, education and tenancy) meeting. This tenant (L) that we decided not to renew her lease cracked it big time. Did a whole manipulation, emotional blackmail trip on the co-op. Of course many people have recanted on their decision not to renew their lease. L has accused me of not doing my job as rent co-ordinator. This woman is not a member of the co-op but working towards membership. However her behaviour is disgusting. She has not declared all the household income. (this is the basis for the non renewal of lease) She has had one bad house inspection already and apparently the neighbours are complaining about her. But and this is huge some members of the co-op still want her in the house. We could not get a consensus today and an agreement was struck that we will bring it up again next meeting. I am pissed off big time over this issue. This is sending a clear message that it doesn't matter what you do just have a big cry over it and we will just put you on probation.

I know this won't make sense to many people because it is the workings of a co-op but it is so hard to explain it all here!!

Went to taekwondo yesterday morning and did way way to much and my calf is sore again. I need to rest it. I need to rest it. I need to rest it. I need to rest it even when it doesn't hurt lol. That is the hard part. It doesn't hurt so I start doing stuff with it. I really need to rest it completely even when it is not hurting for a couple of weeks or I am going to be off it for a lot longer. So this week I am not going to do taekwondo this week. As much as it is going to kill me.

Had tea at mum and dads last night. A roast. Today they have given me some soup and tomorrow the kids and I are going around there for tea!!! Love it. So funny though Dad said to me the other day after he popped around to give me something that he didn't have a key to my house. I said mmm no don't think you do. lol left it at that!! Things are so different this time. I am single and as such may not want them around at certain times lol. Will have to see how it all goes I guess.

I am not alone

I have been reading another blog. This woman is having hassles with a guy. I am reading it and going ditch him girl. Then I realised I was reading about me lol!!! Honestly it is nice to know I am not alone in my behaviour when it comes to some men.

Had my PT session yesterday with G. He took one look at the bruises on my calf and said you torn a muscle. Fan bloody tastic. So I have to pretend I don't have a leg for 3 weeks. So that is one week down already. No running etc. We did heaps of other stuff though. I can still do squats but no lunges. (shit I will I manage no lunges lol) I could also do the leg press which amazingly I had 100kgs on it.

Had taekwondo after that. I made myself sit out of free sparring. Damn that killed me. I so wanted to do it. But I took the whole night very carefully. I so want this calf to heal up well so even though it isn't hurting doing normal stuff I am not taking any chances for the next couple of weeks.

In the Blink of an eye....

Men. Do I need to say more? Yeah yeah I know how many times does it happen. He is driving me insane with his non committal to me. And how sad is that? I am talking about meeting here not marriage, not living together, not exchanging bodily fluids!!

Moving on..... Joined the gym again today. Really can't afford it but it is so messing with my head that I haven't been going. I didn't do much today. Just 15mins walking on the treadmill and then 15 mins on the bike. I could feel my calf while I was on the bike but it settled down so that was good. Taekwondo tonight. I want to go. Probably shouldn't but I am going, I will just take it very very easy and as soon as I can "feel" it I will stop what I am doing.

So mum and dad are really really here now. They have to go back to Vic later this week just an over night trip. Then that is it for a while. The kids are so pleased to have them here. To the point that Patrick actually of his own free will went up to them for a hug when we left their house tonight. Shit you could have knocked me over with a feather!!

So all in all I am not to bad. I see G again tomorrow for my PT session. I will talk to him about my leg. See what he thinks. I am not shouting that life is great from the top of the trees but I am feeling better than I was a week or so ago.

A day in the life of.....

Fairly quiet today which is nice. Patrick turned 10 yesterday. How scary is that?? Earlier in the week we had the whole cake and present thing as mum and dad were here so it was fairly quiet affair yesterday. He got some money in the mail so we had to go spend that. (Nintendo games)

Mum and dad's furniture arrived Thursday. They are back tomorrow night and the rest of the furniture will arrive next week. Monday being a public holiday and all we see us organising their house. The lounge room is filled with boxes and stuff is everywhere. I did put their bed together and organise their bedroom a bit so they had one room they could say was done. (sort of)

Tuesday I am joining the gym again. I can't afford it. (going to pay fortnightly) but I can't afford not to. It is messing with my head not going. I am feeling tired all the time. My eating is crap. I need to get into it again. Even if I have to take it easy with my calf. Which is a bit better but I am going to have to take it easy for a while.

My tooth settled down as well which is fantastic. I ran the dental place and I can ring them again if needed despite the fact I canceled this time.

Was talking to G the other day and I said that I missed what we had. Not so much with him but just the being with someone. He made the comment that things were better between us now and we talked more. Lol I laughed and said well I never felt that so it must just be you. So I think we can safely that that part of our lives is over. Even though things aren't 100% with his girl. They have decided to be friends for a while. Who knows what will happen but I look forward to the next installment. Lol.

J and I have settled for a bit. I must say I don't feel as messed up now we are talking again as much as we were before. He told me I was his soul mate and that he always thinks that we are good and it will work out. So from that I think he takes me a bit for granted. Anyway see what happens. I am on his case.

Exercise does not pay

For a few weeks now I have had a sore calf. Nothing major but just hurting a bit when jogging and sometimes I will just do something and it will twinge enough for me to catch my breath and be a bit careful. Last week it has been pretty good. I have been able to jog and go straight from my PT session with G to Tae kwon do without pain etc. Today I had my session with G and to tae kwon do. Then in the last 10 minutes it just went. Pain tears the whole bit. I am sitting here with an ice pack on it. It is very painful to walk etc. I am in tears not so much for the pain but because I can't run etc now for ages. I am so pissed off it isn't funny. Just when it was getting better. Fucking pissed off. I don't need this. I so don't need this.

I miss the gym something bad. I had to go and get food parcels etc this week as money is stretched to the max. Please God when does it get better. I want some good to happen.

the time has come

Finally mum and dad are here tonight. Strangely though I am feeling down. It is 7.30 and I am still waiting. They have had a nightmare of a trip and they thought they would be here long before now. I am sure once they are here I will be fine but I have been making up beds as they have to stay here for a few days and I am begrudging them my bed lol. I am selfish. I love my bed. I am sleeping in Lachlan's bed. No electric blanket and no flannelet sheets!! It is going to be great having them here but life is going to be topsy turvey for a while I think.

My tooth is still sore. For some reason it is worse through the night and first thing in the morning. Throughout the day I think yeah I can weather this but then in the morning I think no I can't. My appointment is on Monday so I will see how it progresses over the weekend.

So with mum and dad here no sleep in for me. (a no kid weekend) Instead I will be helping dad. It is all a pain in the bum and like them no doubt it would be good if everything could just be done at the snap of the fingers. Oh well give it a couple of months and we shall see what the new kind of normal will be for us.

I popped the your lease is not going to renewed letter into the tenants letterbox today. Now the tenancy officer and myself are just waiting for the shit to hit the fan. Watch out for the fireworks as I am sure they will be visible to all.