Where do I begin and where does it end?

This weekend gone has been really really hard for me in a few different ways. And part of it I am still struggling with.

The first one I am not that fussed about really but even so. Remember B? Well after our little disagreement the girls at work convinced me to tell him how I felt but give him another go. So basically it would be another fortnight before we would be able to meet. I let it all go and we were back to txting one another. The thing was he only txt once a day!!! Even if I asked a question he never replied or if he did it was the next day. We agreed that last Friday we were both free and would get together. During all of this I am so closed to just saying sick of this. I am out of here but thought no I would wait until Friday. Thursday he txt me. So when can I see you again? WTF??? I txt back with I thought we were getting together Friday weren't we? Nothing, no reply, nothing. Friday I get a reply. Oh don't know what is happening yet as I may have to go to a work do that I only found out about yesterday. Lol that was it for me. I told him I was done and wouldn't be contacting him again. I got a rude txt back about how I wasn't understanding of his work commitments. Yeah whatever!

The next thing was shit for brains. Because Laura didn't remember to take all her soccer stuff with her to his house, I had to deal with him. He now has my normal mobile number. He got that off of Patrick's phone. I knew that day would come but damn I hate that he has it. Then Laura leaves her stuff at his house. But do you think he would drop it any where for me? Nope I have to go to his house to get it. Now I have moved I no longer go any where near his house. I kept telling him to drop it into work but he kept being a bastard. Calling me names again like the good christian that he is. In the end I just told him leave it at work. That is it end of story. And he did. I nearly gave in but I am so glad I didn't. That is just a little bit of power that he didn't gain back.

The final thing was the co-op. Off I went on Sunday to my general meeting for the co-op. All going well. A totally unorganised meeting with the chairman having no clue as to what he is doing, when wham...... I was ambushed. I had a complaint lodged against me. Apparently I have infantile and inappropriate behaviour and ask questions to disrupt the meeting. I also haven't been doing my job as maintenance officer by the rules. (long story short on that one) All of which was total crap. I don't deny I asked questions. I am sure I even interrupted him which he was giving his report. The reasons for that was because I needed more information. He is the treasurer and when you start throwing around words like bankruptcy at people that will believe everything you say. Well sorry but that calls for some questions.

So after they all finished wading into the argument on how the meeting should be conducted. (I should point out that meetings are filled with people talking over the top of each other and interrupting each other.Pity the chairperson doesn't do his job) They all wanted me to have right of reply. Lol I couldn't talk. I said I wouldn't be responding. I couldn't anyway. I was about to burst into tears. I quickly wrote out a resignation from maintenance and left. I went home and wrote my reply to it all in a letter. I was restrained and explained my reasons for all the questions. I addressed the maintenance issues and then sent it to all the members. I am glad to be done with it, honestly. I have my membership. I have my house. I will do the minimum and say nothing in future.

The thing that gets me is that all this is over me deciding that a few people needed to have their kitchens updated. The first one being a man with a disability and very overweight living with his partner in a kitchen that is so small it is crazy. Dad worked out a way to renovate it cheaply and easily to make it better for them. Cupboards got oked for mum and dad's place as mum can't bend down to the lower ones so they are putting in overhead ones. The other kitchen is for a blended family of 8. The kitchen was crap as well so dad is making more room for them. Now I am not talking mega bucks here I am talking $2500. And we have more than enough money. For 3 kitchens to only cost that much it is good. But there are people in the co-op who have brand new houses. It is these people who are in on this letter. And the treasurer is one of them. They don't like me spending money. But we are a non profit co-op we have nothing else to spend our money on but our houses and why should those in older houses not have the same comfort as those in new houses.

Sorry I know this doesn't make a lot of sense but there is just so much going on with the co-op it is hard to explain it all. The up side is that after leaving that meeting feeling totally crap I have since found out that there are a few people who think it was totally wrong that it happened. Dad has been dealing with a few people from the co-op and they just started telling his how wrong it all was etc. So that is nice to know. That I do have support. I thought about not going to the meeting but then decided I would. We only have them once a month. So I have to wait until then to find out really what is going to happen. I won't be saying anything. I will be sitting at the back, earning my participation by walking through the door. I may even take a book to read. Mmmm there's a thought.

So yes I may in my head be yeah whatever and not caring but it pissed me off and hurt me. I have done so much for the co-op, mainly jobs no one else wanted or could do. Because I get things done, because I ask questions and don't take things at face value I get told off. I think today I am finally letting it go like I wanted to. Funny isn't it? You can tell yourself no this doesn't bother me but it does really. It is hard to explain but today was really the first day that I didn't really find myself dwelling on it. Stuff them I say. (I am flipping them the bird right now.... Honest. I stopped right then and did it! lol)

I am going to bed.