A funeral, sexy shoes and a movie

Nana's funeral was last Friday. The weather was stinking hot. About 45 degrees. So that was pretty yuk. I was sitting next to my cousin and before it started we were just cracking each other up. My nana would have been laughing along with us as she was a crack up herself. My mum turned to us at one point and said if we weren't careful she would separate us lol. That was said because the three kids were there. Who I might add were so well behaved it wasn't funny. Any way of course I did point out that although we are the giggle corner now we will be the sooky la la corner before long. And of course we were. I don't like funerals but it is the closure I guess.

Last week on my week off, I did nothing but eat and spend money lol. I got a new phone. A touch phone. Samsung F430. I love it. I also brought a new pair of heeled shoes. As soon as I saw them I had to have them. I am not normally a shoe person but these are the sexiest cutest pair of shoes. They are a 1920's look. Lace up. But higher heel then back then. I wore them to the funeral and everyone commented on how they looked like my great grandmothers shoes lol. They were a good choice.

Now after seeing D last Tuesday and having words I hadn't seen him since then for a while. He txt me Friday for the funeral and then nothing. I was worrying but thought well that is him pulling back. Sunday morning he rings me. Wants to know if I would like to go for a drive. He forgot I had the kids so it didn't' happen. But he said just as friends lol. So we had a bit of a chat and reiterated the friends thing. Blah blah. I told him I hated not seeing him as much and that it wasn't about the touchy feeling stuff that I missed it was the companionship. But he just said that I needed to get used to not seeing him as much as it was just friends and friends don't spend this amount of time together. Words to that effect.

2 hours later is drives into my driveway!! I had been on the treadmill. Was all sweaty and yuck. Such a surprise. I guess he stayed about an hour. We just chatted. I made a comment about the way I looked and bless him he said I don't care how you look.

We had made plans to catch up for a movie the next night. I wore my child size 16 jeans and my new shoes. Which D had seen but not on me and liked a lot. He freaked out when he saw me. I had a belt on which helped the thinner image. But he loved the shoes. I have never ever had a man make such a big deal over my feet before. I have small feet. These are size 6 so they looked even smaller in these heels. He loved them. We went out to dinner which was really nice. We then just went for a bit of a drive and stopped near the beach. All the while saying nothing is happening we are just friends. But all the while he is getting turned on by my feet and legs which at this point are in his lap lol. He kept saying that he shot himself with the new boundaries etc but we stuck by them and it was all good. Until the movies lol. There were kisses and cuddles. And it was so nice.

The movie was the new Clint Eastwood, Gran Turino. It was a good movie. Maybe a bit slow but it was horrible in parts so of course I cried lol.

It was a good night. When we came out I said to D we need to stop making these boundaries as we don't stick to them. He sort of agreed but nothing much was said. But all through the night the comments like I may just have to accept the fact that when I come back from overseas and I am ready you may have another guy. Comments like that are what keeps giving me hope. I honestly don't' think he is bullshitting me. I don't have that much to offer a guy. And it certainly isn't the sex he keeps coming back for as there really isn't any. We have had sex once since Wallaroo. If we were having sex all the time then I would perhaps doubt what he says. I don't know. I just have hope and he keeps giving me hope. For now I am happy with what we have. And yes I keep bloody saying it. I like him, he likes me, we have fun together. We are great friends. If nothing else it stays that way, or it may be setting the foundation to a great relationship.

Kids are ok. Still abit all over the place. Patrick especially. He has a lot riding on things though. He missed taekwondo grading last term because of his grading so he knows it can happen again. Just things like that he knows he needs to lose this bossy negative behaviour. Of course he sees his dad doing it but hopefully there is enough of us not doing it that soon he will get the message he needs to change.