when the shit hits the fan

This morning my dad rings me saying that he just got a txt from Shit for brains phone: Help PATRICK. We had no idea if it was M winding dad up trying to get him to txt or if it was Patrick. So I tried to call M who hung up on me as soon as he found out it was me. So I then rang the cops and they went and did a welfare check on the kids. (of course an enormous amount of worry time between when i rang and when they called me back) They finally called me back (communications not the patrol) and said that the kids were fine. It was Patrick that called and that there had been an argument but it was only minor. That wasn't good enough. For Patrick to risk txting someone on his dad's phone is major. He was a scared. So then I find out none of the kids are at school. (really freaking out now) Karen is going around the classrooms checking when she ran into Laura. I spoke to Laura on the phone and she said that Dad wasn't allowing Patrick to come to school because Patrick had been naughty. (to top it off the kids had school swimming and Patrick's was first up.)

So I roll up to the pool to see if on the off chance he would bring Patrick there. No go. Meanwhile I have spoken to the patrol who went out to the house but there was nothing they could do. The cop getting saying to me that he couldn't understand me as I was so upset. I then explained to the teacher what was happening. Then I went to my car. I sat there for a while as I didn't know what else to do. Karen then rang to tell me that Matt has rolled up with Patrick. One of the mums I know over heard Matt tell the teacher he was only there for swimming and then would be taking Patrick back home. Apparently whilst talking to the teacher matt was rubbing Patrick's head and back and Patrick hates that and it was plain for all to see.

I ummed and arrgghed about what to do. In the end I went in. I knew Matt wouldn't like it but I needed Patrick to see me. I didn't go up to Patrick but he saw me and I sat with Karen and watched.

Matt finally brought Patrick to school 5 minutes after the bell went. I was close to calling the cops again.

It was all over poo on the toilet floor!!!! Matt apparently went off last night and I mean really off and it continued this morning. To the point that Patrick pinched Matt's phone to txt. He then tried to get out of the car at school to make a run for the front office. Matt grabbed him by the neck to stop him. During the day Patrick has one bit of bread with Jam on it for breakfast and that was it. Matt also rang me and told me this was all my fault because I had the affair (which I didn't) and that I was a liar!

The worst thing about today was the fact that I was powerless. My son was scared. I know that. I know that he was so very scared and I couldn't help him.

Something that come to me today though was I know I love my kids. But you just go about daily stuff and it is just there. But something like today it just hits you so much it hurts. When dad called me my heart went and I was just freaking out. I can't explain it but that love hurt, there was fear and anger, but that was because of the love. I want to hurt Matt so much for scaring those kids. I still feel it now how helpless I felt, when I just knew how scared he was.

Ok that is out now. It is nice they are all home and safe even if they are all on a sugar high from mum and dad's.