Crappy crappy day and the night is shaping up to be not much better honestly. Called it off with M. I just wasn't that into him. I don't know. Lol see I still just don't know. If I have to think that hard I don't think it should be. He was a nice guy and very into me but I wasn't that into him. Many things that I can't be bothered going into now.
So here I sit once again alone, worrying about my kids, wishing I just had someone here to hold me and tell me it is going to be ok. Why can't just one piece of my life be ok. If i get one piece ok then the rest doesn't seem as bad but when it is all shit it is really hard not to be depressed about it all and just cry.
Again I just ask why does it all have to be so hard? I can't seem to get my head around anything at the moment. Study, housework, weight loss. Anything.
WHEN DOES IT ALL FUCKING CHANGE? WHEN DOES IT GET BETTER? WHEN DO I GET THE STUFF THAT EVERYONE TELLS ME I DESERVE?
when do I finally stop the feeling that I have got what I deserve?
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2 comments:
So Kate ... want to run away with me ... and the 7 kids (between us)? Wish you were closer so we could cheer each other up when life is a bitch.
Oh boy I know the place you are at and it's the pits. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better for you.
I know it doesn't help to be told that it will get better, but it will get better. You did the right thing leaving Matt, you are doing the right thing by your kids now and even though everything is hard and horrible and ... ugly at the moment, you reap what you sow ... so one day you (and I) are going to have a HUGE harvest!
If you ever want to talk, I think you have my google talk/msn messenger details? If not, please email me and I will send them to you.
Hang in there *hugs*
from now on it you will get what you deserve. you will teach people how you want to be treated. and you will not settle for 'nearly'. That's why you called it off, because as nice as he was, you deserve to be IN LOVE... and to have something special! So I reckon you are going to get what you deserve, if you hang in there... so although you have broken it off, that is something going right in your life okay, cause you are making decisions that ARE right for you!
keep your eye on the ball... keep striving for what you want - you will achieve!
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