why?????

Why am I sitting here feeling like total crap. I am in tears actually and I don't even know why. I miss J, and I am so stupid for that. Probably more so I miss what i had with J. It's not like i can just ring up M and say hey I am feeling like crap please cheer me up. Which is what would happen if J and I were still in contact.

I guess I am just struggling at the moment. I have no money and bills coming at me left right and centre. I am having so much trouble with Lachlan that I don't know what to do. That woman won't get out of my house. She was supposed to move out last Sunday and hasn't. We have lodged a from 7 with the RTT but won't be heard probably until the 17th and who knows how much time they will give her.

I can't seem to lose this weight. Yes I know I need to change my eating habits but I am finding it so hard. So that of course is just frustrating me even more.

I still don't know how I feel about M. I like him but I don't know. Of course I could just be being silly and I have only seen him twice so how am I expected to know how I feel? I just wish there was a rule book.

I guess today is just a bad day. Kids have gone to school and will be off to Matt's tonight. I am feeling alone. My house needs to be tidied and I so can't be bothered.

lol how quick things turn around. M just rang me. We were just having a chat about nothing much. We are going to the movies tomorrow night. Geez I swing so much about him. Getting off the phone now and I think yeah I do like him. But give me another hour or so and I will be like I don't know. I think it is just because I want what i had with J. But I need to remember that it didn't start off like that with J. In fact this is really completely different as least this guy has met me now and wants to keep meeting me!

Ok I really better clean my toilet and bathroom, oh joy lol. I am feeling better than I was when I started this post. See aren't you glad he rang while I was writing this? So I guess that does say something about him.