Well I am pretty sure I can kiss my cop career good bye. It was awful. Apparently I don't think outside the square, I am not dominate enough, and I just want to get in so I can get men like my bastard ex. We were also talking about Matt hurting the kids and he says "and that upsets you?" well yeah of course it would. But it was like it was wrong of me to be upset.
Mum said that basically they are looking for someone who thinks of themselves. Who are basically arse holes. I am not that. And really the majority of cops are like that. Karen's friend is like that. She is out for herself.
This is something I wanted so much. It is just not going to happen. I honestly didn't think I would get knocked back because of my personality.
So I am at home, alone, in tears. Mum and dad are the only ones who know. But of course the pretence comes out. They don't know how upset I am. Why worry them with how upset I am, how rejected I feel. Why can't anything go right? Why?
One thing. I had subway for dinner. I still have tim tams in the house. I am determined not to eat. I am not hungry. I am not going to give in. But I want to so badly. Food the ultimate substitute for being told that everything is going to be ok and if it wasn't meant to be then it wasn't meant to be.
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3 comments:
Oh Kate ... that really really sucks ...
But what did they actually say? Did they say you didn't get in? Are you sure they were saying it wasn't going to happen?
Just hold tight and sit tight and wait ... you never know what might happen
*big hugs*
Yes Kate maybe Raina is right. Are you just assuming or did they tell you this straight up?
kate don't count yourself out just yet! i've met plenty of cops that aren't hard-asses! they were more likely trying to guage your response to stress & how you would manage crisis etc. how long till you find out for sure?
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