I'mmmm Baaaackkk 28th December 2008

I am back after my break away to Wallaroo with D. It was such a lovely time away. So relaxing, literally doing nothing. It was great. Honestly I can't be bothered going to much into it but it was just nice. Yeah it was in a tent and it was a pain but for two nights it was ok. I got badly sun burnt even though I tried to avoid it but oh well.

Things are still the same with D. He just dropped me back home and he stayed for a while and we chatted. Cleared a few things up. He really doesn't want to commit to me, or anyone for that matter. He said that he wants to take the opportunity to have sex with someone else if it comes up etc. Nice isn't it but that isn't what it is all about but he wants me to know that. I can see that if he jumped into a relationship with me now it wouldn't be right for him. I am fine with that. I will be upset if he has sex with someone else but I know that is the sort of crap he needs to sort out. He may never be ready but he may be ready soon or maybe in a year. I am content with what we have. He knows that. He is not off with anyone else. He will tell me if he does. I know that. So while things are like they are I am ok. If/when he sleeps with someone then I will deal with what I do then.

As he said today we are doing stuff like we are in a relationship and that worries him. But he keeps doing it. There were a few other things that we sorted out that are personal and have no desire to go through them here but it is all good.

I am happy. Things could be better but they could be worse. I will take each day as it comes and honestly at the moment I will hold on to the fact that D does really like me and I think he will come one day to the conclusion that he does want a relationship. Maybe la la land but for now it will do.

Just an update 24th December 09

So.... sorry I have been busy.....

First thing....D. Well things had been very up and down. Although he had decided not to see this woman again he was still looking and keeping me at an arms length. A week ago we had a bit of an argument. I don't even know what over. We had already decided, we, he had and I agreed, that there would be no relationship type behaviour, like kissing, sex, you know all of that. He was worried I would get hurt. I did tried to tell him that I would get hurt with or without that but that is what was fixed in his head so I let him go.

So this argument ended with it being decided that we wouldn't see each other as much and I would date again. It all ended ok with us still friends etc. So two nights later I went out on a date. It was pretty dull. But I did it. D came around the next night to help me put together Laura's desk/bed. I had on a dress which he found very nice. I kept it all above board. He didn't. He kept telling me how gorgeous I looked. His hands wondered a few times, which I stopped. He quizzed me about my date. Going over the top about how great he thought it was. To the point that it was obvious that he was worried. He mentioned that he did think he was cutting his own throat by letting me go.

All in all a good night. It was fun. He had a great time as well.

The next afternoon he rolls up unannounced to take me for a drive along the beach. That surprised me.

The following night was his Aunty's 80th birthday which he had invited me to. It was a great night with everyone telling him he was crazy for only just being friends with me.

We came back to my place and the whole friends thing just went out the window. It was so nice. We just messed around, talked etc. It was a lovely night and we finally dragged ourselves off to bed at about 3.30am. He just said so many nice things and one of those was I don't want you to see other guys. I laughed. I did say you don't really mean that. He just sort of said I guess not, I don't know.

And now after it being called off after the argument, we are going away. Just for the two nights. I am so excited. Just to relax and spend time not worrying about anything.

I don't know what is going to happen with D. But he is getting in deeper. If it is meant to be it is meant to be. It will be interesting to see what happens while we are away. Fingers crossed it is all good. I know that I just intend to have fun and just enjoy it. I have fallen for him, he has made it a little hard for me not to. It is I guess just up to him to decide what he is going to do.

Work.....work is full on. I survived my two weeks in the office, I really enjoyed it. This week I am supervising the front end. I am going to hate going back on register full time. The manager knows this so hopefully when things settle something will change.

Kids..... are driving me insane. Really really insane. I need this break away from them and the everything else. It is all very well not having them for the week but I still have to work etc. I need this time off to just get my shit back together and find my patience again. I have lost it I think.

That is the update for now I guess. Sorry the grammar sucks. I have just done it really really quickly because who knows when I will update again.

Life is never boring......9th December 2008

So yesterday D informed me that his date went really well and he would like to see her again to find out if he does want to see her again. (my words but that is what he meant) Of course I am a tad upset by all that. But after work I was really upset about other stuff (more about that later) so we got together for a coffee. And we talked. I told him I didn't want things to change. And that perhaps he may think she is the one for him and not me. He of course said that we were different but he had to look at things like her being able to travel etc whereas I can't because of the kids. So we talked and talked about lots of stuff and finally I said I had better go.

I got in the car and realised the time was 6.00pm. I had my taekwondo grading at 6.30. So I flew home to get changed only to get a phone call from D saying after my grading come to his house and stay the night. So that is what I did. (I passed my taekwondo grading without vomiting so that was good) We went out to the pub for a couple of drinks then back to his house. I didn't want to talk about the other girl. He told me that he would have to make a decision because there was no way he was going to go from her bed to mine. In which case if he decided that he wanted what he had with me but with her then I dip out. Although we would still be friends things would change.

So anywho, he informed me tonight that he is not worrying about her now. Apparently it all got to hard to try and find a time to meet and she didn't seem that keen or something. I didn't press to much for details. And he has taken himself off the site. Although he is quick to point out that we are still just friends and he is not committing. He does not want commitment. Well I knew that already. So we will just see how things go. I am just happy they don't appear to be changing. Especially as he just rang me to inform me that he has just purchased a ps3 and a big screen tv. That is all he rang for. I said something about Saturday night and he said oh well if you want to wait that long till you see me! so that was nice.

Now onto other things. Work.....OMG yesterday was full on. It was good but full on. Just trying to get everything done on time as a mail bag has to be sent by 3 and everything has to be in it. I got it done but with how many mistakes I don't know. Today was a slower day and I had all the office work done by 10 which was very nice. Tomorrow could be another hell day with the mail bag having to go again.

My car..... well I took it to one crash repairer who said that it will probably be written off. So not what I want to hear. So I have to go to another crash repairers and make a time for an assessor to look at the car. D bless him is going to take my car in for me on one of his days off and bring it back for me so I don't have to worry about not having my car. Thing is if they write it off I could be 10 days without a car. And then have to find another car. I will never get as good of a deal as I did with this car. I am so not happy about it.

So that is where I am at at the moment. All updated lol

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.... 7th December 08

We are putting the Christmas tree up and the kids have just started fighting. Oh yeah bring it on lol.

We have had a great day. Which really started last night. D came over last night. He brought the Patriot with him. We rearranged the couch, ordered pizza, drank and watch the movie. Not really my kind of movie but D liked the fact that he found out more about me by me watching it he said. Lol. That I am a sook and don't like the gory bits???

Anyway he stayed over and then today we went to Normanville to look at a van in a park he is thinking of buying down there. We had lunch and then took the kids to a playground. We sat in the car and watched them and talked. We then drove home via the Myponga reservoir. Which was nice. We also took his car down to the beach. We put the kids in the back of the ute and drove. They loved it.

D and the kids ganged up on me and the Christmas tree is being put up in the window. Not where I wanted it but oh well!!!!

So the down side of the time we spent together???? D has a date tonight. A woman off the dating site. Now I know he is only interested in friends. But I have spent the whole time with him making it appear that I don't give a rip. But in actual fact of course I do. What happens if this woman is wonderful? What happens if they get on like a house on fire? Well I know the answers. I move on and he wasn't the one for me. But it won't be that easy. He has actually told me that he doesn't want to go on anymore dates and this is the last one. Last night I asked if I could see her profile. Of course he let me and he is not talking to many people at all. I was surprised. I also said to him today oh I am not worried because I am the one. She won't be good as me. He just looked at me and said yeah I think you are right. I didn't say anything else and we just went on talking about other things.

So that aside all is good as always between us. I have Faylie back and he is totally allergic to her which is a pain. Doesn't help that Fay is mourning her kittens and is yelling all the time. I hate that so I know that D does as well. But he talks about him getting a house so that I can come over and he can cook for me. Just stuff like that. So I guess I just need to stop worrying. But that is hard. And I am worried about it. Arghhhhhhh I need to get confidence and self esteem.

oasis active

So for all of you arriving here after googling the above. First of all Lol!! Sorry I just find it funny that you come here after googling that. Anyway. I have met one guy off there and if you decide to continue reading this you will discover that I am pretty happy with it all.

The site is good for a free site, albeit slow. Good luck!!!

More of the same..... 5th December 08

For some reason the new templates I am using aren't showing the date. So going to have to put it in. It is there just not showing up. I want to show it up. I need to learn more about all this so I can change it properly!!

Anyway...... Things with D are still wonderful. Seeing each other all the time. I spent Sunday night with him.I ended up staying at his place and then driving home getting changed and going to work. After work I went around to his place and then he came back to mine after dinner. We went for a walk while the kids rode their bikes. He then stayed the night. In the morning we went our separate ways as we both had appointments. Then we met up again for my doc appointment. More about that later. We picked my kids up from school and then I drove him home again. I haven't seen him since then but he has rung me each day. Just when I start to worry he rings me. Yes I am still worrying. It is silly. I know this guy likes me but I am still so insecure when I don't have contact with him for a while. I need to stop this but it is so difficult.

Sunday night he made me feel so good. I straightened my hair and had brought some much needed clothes and he said he was blown away by how different I looked. It doesn't matter what I wear he always says nice things about me. I could get very used to this.

Of course I am playing it all very cool. He keeps telling me that he isn't ready to commit. Which in my head I know he isn't. He has only been separated just a year now. He has things to do. But has someone said to me today, his mouth is saying no but his actions are saying relationship and it is true. He has invited me to Christmas with his family after I lose the kids at 4. (very very nervous about meeting his 19 year old son!) We are going away for 4 days after Christmas. And then he invited me to a big family birthday bash for an 80 year old relative. (An aunty perhaps). So I will just play it by ear. No pressure on him. He knows what I would like. We have talked about it. I have also told him I know he can't commit. I do know that. But it scares me that he may still meet someone whom he decides is the one. I just have to deal with that I guess. I am enjoying the whole thing at the moment and I will take it as it comes for now.

Now the doc appointment. I think I have another polyp. D said he would come with me. Bless him. I freak out about this. I thought I would have an examination etc. But I got in and he just referred me straight to the hospital. I guess because this is my second one. He did say it is less likely to be cancerous due to the first one being ok. Not looking forward to it all. D is happy to be by my side though. lol poor guy won't know what he has got himself into.

Work is good. Busy but good. I am sure I will be in the bad books as I had a sickie today. I seem to be having a lot. But i have this head cold thing happening. No way I could have stood at the reg all day today. I am pretty sure M is ticked because I am in the office. I go in full time next week but was in there yesterday for the day. He just makes all these little remarks, I hate it. I really hope the next two weeks go ok in the office. I need it to go really well. I am sure M would like me to stuff up big time so he can go told you so. But the store manager is pretty cool with it all so fingers crossed it is ok.
A week or so ago I went paint balling with some of the people from work. I was scared brainless!! But I didn't end up getting hit. That could be because I didn't move. I hid behind something and just shot at people!! Then would suddenly realise I was the only one left in my team. I then surrendered lol. I didnt' want to get hit.

Then afterward on the way to goodbye drinks for K at work, I was stopped at a stop sign and a guy ran up the back of me. So angry and pissed off. We all had minor back and neck pain but it has gone now. D the sweet man came to my place and between him and mum he talked me into still going to the pub. Mum and dad took Lachlan and D took the other two and myself to the pub. It was nice. All the people from work met him.

Everything else is ok. Patrick has been playing up a bit this week. To the point of not being allowed to grade at taekwondo. Today he seems better and I just spoke to him and hopefully things have settled. I tried to find out if it was about D and he assures me it isn't but would he really tell me if it was? Don't know.

Amazing how busy having a life can be.

Things with D are good. Great actually. We have been spending a fair bit of time together and he has told me that he is falling for me so that is nice to hear. He came over yesterday afternoon for a very quick visit with his two year old son. I thought that was lovely of him. He didn't have to drive all the way out here for me to meet his son but it meant a lot to me. It was nice.

Work has been flat out. The cash clerk was supposed to be going away from the 1/12 until the 15/12. The normal fill in for her has got a promotion and is leaving the store. So all last week I was in the cash office learning it all. Then we found out that the dates that she is going away have been changed. (she is going to WA to help set up a new store) to a week later. Which means she is away for two weeks leading up to Christmas, our busiest time. The manager made the call of her to still go. Even though with me in the cash room it leaves no experienced front end controller out the front and an inexperienced cash clerk. Me. So the pressure is on me now to make sure I can do this. Or AM is going to come back to a complete mess and she is not looking forward to that.

It will be good doing this job. hours are 8-4 Monday to Friday. So I get the weekend off. I also get a higher rate of pay doing that job. And it gives me something different to do. Having said that though I could live without the pressure and I would like in a way to be doing my front end controller job during our busy time. Still i will be doing that from the 22/1 though.

Everything else is just chugging along. The girl from work, Keri, who is leaving, is having good bye drinks tomorrow night. I will have the kids but D is coming with me. I am a bit happy about that. He was all prepared to get all dressed up. Lol so sweet of him but I told him he didn't have to. I am working this Monday and having Tuesday off. No kids Monday night, so D is planning something for us to do. I am excited about that as well.

Ok best to stop rambling now and get the kids to bed now their movie has finished.

what a turn around.....the story continues.....

D left me a message on my phone Saturday saying..... "I really would like to catch up" blah blah " so if your not busy give me a call but if you are busy still call me cos I like the sound of your voice!"

He thought I didn't have the kids but of course I did. However, he ended up coming around at about 9. We were having tea a mum and dad's and I needed to have a shower and quickly clean the house. What a lovely lovely night it was. We listen to music and talked and I got drunk. (didn't take much) And it was all nice. We kissed and cuddled. He ended up staying the night. This was a big call on my part. But in the end decided.

So in the morning he met the kids. I hardly got any sleep because the bugger snores like I don't know what!! We went for a walk down to the beach and then he took off home. He had told me he rang on the Saturday because he couldn't wait until the Monday night to see me again. Of course I just melted at that.

We did meet up Monday still. He picked me up at about 2ish and we went to Victor. Had a drink at the pub then a walk around granite island. Well I had a bit of a jog as I was in a bouncy mood. lol. We then found a lovely little secluded spot on some really big rocks near the water breaking and just laid down and talked. Then we went for a drive and got some chips etc for dinner. On the way home he took me to Hindmarsh Falls which I had never seen before. We also drove along the beach at Aldinga. Which was so funny. He put the car in 4wd and away we went. Except there were heaps of rocks so it got very bouncy. We ended up back here where we broke open a couple of breezers. (there was a reason I brought that carton after all.) I showed him my photos of Tasmania. He went there this year so he really wanted to see them. We talked and fooled around a bit and then he went home.

I went home early from work today because I was feeling yuk. I don't know what it is but I felt woozy, lightheaded, it was a chore to breathe and I got shaky. The sus thing was that D came into work just as I was leaving. All the guys got a good look which was funny. I am sure I will hear about it when I go back to work on Thursday. But he walked me to my car and gave me a hug. I ended up at the docs and had some blood tests taken. I feel a bit better now but not 100%. The doc thought it could be a virus as I had a bit of a red throat. Or I could be iron deficient again. Will know more on Monday.

So the thing with D and I. I don't know. He is very adamant that he is not wanting a relationship. I get that. However I am having a hard time working out the difference between the friendship and relationship at the moment. I get that he has to do the overseas thing with his dad. I also know he is not even a year out of his old relationship. But it is like i have known this guy forever. We are very similar in out personalities. And we just get on so well together. He keeps telling me when he gets back from England it is on. Not those words but close enough. He is also very respectful of my boundaries. Although in the heat of the moment he tries to push. But I guess in a way I would be disappointed if he didn't!

I like him. He likes me. I don't doubt that. For once in my life I don't doubt that. I do worry that will change and I need to try and let go of that. I am falling for him and in a way I don't want to. Time will tell as always where it goes but for now I am happy with what is happening. I am happy that he wants to spend time with me.

After the excitement has died down.......

The last few days have been an absolute shit. I was described as foul by one of the girls at work. And that probably sums it up really. I have been really really down.

The reason.....after all that happened with D I lost it. How could I have read the signs so wrong??? How could I feel I get along with someone so well and be so wrong? If he didn't feel some sort of nice feelings surely he would have ditched me after dinner, after the walk, after the sitting on the grass???? I was devastated no so much by what he said but by the fact I had read everything wrong. How can I trust me feelings let alone someone elses? So basically I fell down a big hole.

Last night I get a txt from one of the girls at work. Something about a woman from a school wanting a proforma for some yellow bubbles blah blah. Then near the end of the txt there is a bit saying did you get a phone call from a guy? Someone was in asking for you. He has your phone number already. So after a few txt back and forwards I am convinced it was D. In the morning I txt him and yeah it was. The girls thought he was lovely, smelt nice and attractive lol. So do I.

That cheered me up. But what killed me further today was I look up from serving someone and who is standing next in line to be served but D. Smiling away at me. Looking all smart arseish!!! Luckily we weren't that busy at that point so I conned him into buying an wine he hadnt seen before. (on top of the wine he had already picked out. That he had already brought a bottle of last night!!) We chatted very quickly and then we was out of there.

Funny bit was when Sara (Karen's niece who works at Dan's now) said yeah he looked ok I guess for an older guy!!)

At lunch I looked at my phone and he had rung me. It was before I had seen him but I thought what the heck I will phone him. So I did and we had a good 10 minute chat I guess on the phone. Made me smile and laugh so it was all good.

So from this I get the following....he is certainly interested in keeping in touch. That I like. I am planning on playing it down now. We are making plans for a Monday catch up. But he isn't sure yet. He said he will get in touch so I will let him. I am so glad he made that effort to come into work. He certainly didn't have to but by doing so it has helped me see that he does want to be friends and he wasn't just saying it.

I am starting to climb out of the hole now. Maybe I can trust my feelings after all.

the wonderful feeling just stopped.

I give up I really really do. How can I really believe anything good that people say about me when rejection follows so closely. Yes D gave the sorry I like you but... So it just makes me think that all the lovely stuff he said was just crap and it is not fair. I give up.

Ok I had started that when D txt me and said he was online if I wanted to talk. So talk we did. Now the reason he decided to not go the relationship thing with me is because of stuff he has to do. Oh here is the message he sent me.

HI There,i really had a nice time last night,you are a real gem.Kate i have been thinking about us and i dont think it will really work out as a relationship,but as a friendship no probs.The reason being i will be doing some travel next year and going overseas i dont think it would be fair to you and your lovely family..to be there then not be there for i guess my own selfish reasons.This trip means alot to me as i havent been and seen my family for 25yrs.You are a beautiful person Kate you have everything going for you,remember dont be shy,you are very educated and will succeed in what ever you do in life.Im really sorry.Hope your not shitty with me.please contact me if you just want to chat,anytime.

Now I get what he has to do. His trip is England. His dad died 25 years ago and he has never even seen where he is buried. So I understand. He is also thinking of moving to Mt Gambier. So anyway. We are talking on the thingo and in the end he just rings me. Of course I am upset. So we talk some more with all my walls just going straight back up and pretending that I am strong and I am fine with it all. In the end we decided to go for a walk along the beach.

So my hair is mega curly I am in my trackies, barely any makeup and he makes his lovely comments again. So we have come to friendship. We both talked about how lonely we are etc and we are not into one night stands. (his ex ran off with his best mate of 32 years!!) We are not going to be FB. Thankfully. I so do not want him to see me naked. He is not interested in having a relationship with anyone. (I was his one and only date!!)He commented on how he is sick of not having someone to just hang out with, the whole companionship thing. Of course I am the same. Yes I want more. But he is not that one for that. Thats fine. Yes I am sad that he isn't but what he is offering me.....a friendship, probably means more to me atm. I told him about J and how long it took me to adjust to not having that company. Because although I never met J it was still company. The amount we talked on the phone. I could call him at any time etc. I miss that. Well I now have it with D. He said to me "well how bout I be that person you can call!!)

Its not like G who I hardly see and I can't just call because I am having a crappy day. D and I get on really well. And I get now that he is not rejecting me but the concept of a relationship full stop.

So I am still sad because I am back to square one with no guy in sight. But on the other hand I have company now. We are going to the movies next Monday when I don't have the kids. And he wants to take me out so I can get totally pissed because I never have the opportunity to do that!!lol sad sad world lol. (I did tell him he was in for a short night that night!!)

I have gained a friend who hopefully will be in my life more than my other friends because we both need that friendship! Yet again time will tell. And he still says I am lovely and I am special. So it is nice to hear those things. G never says stuff like that!! lol See Kate there is even better than G out there. (don't tell G but D maybe shorter but his arms and chest are so much yummier lol)

Date night....

Yes you read right. Date night. I had a date last night. Only about the 3rd date in 2.5 years.

First though I had yesterday off. So nice. A taekwondo seminar to go to. I mowed the lawn again to try and pick up all the grass seeds, watched a movie. Just basically took the day off. It was nice to know I still had two more days off work.

So the date. D contacted me on the net about 3nights ago I guess. And the conversation just flowed. Not since talking to J have I had such a nice comfortable conversation with a guy. So like they all do he wanted to meet this weekend. I said no. He was cool with that. When I was talking to one of the girls at work, she told me just do it. So for the first time ever I met a guy that quick. (well apart from G, whom I met pretty damn quick as well)

He originally said for coffee. So we met up at the place which turns out he had booked a table for dinner. Poor guy I was not hungry at all has I had had a late lunch. So we sat for ages out the front just talking. Finally we went in and had something to eat. I was really nervous but he was just so nice. So very very funny and we had a lot of that verbal sparring going on.

After dinner we went for a walk down to the end of the jetty. Just talking, finding out lots of things about each other. Me just talking and talking away. Lol. I did warn him! After that we went and sat or laid as the case maybe on the grass near the lifesaving club. More talking. And comfortable silences. So after saying no to both him coming back to my house or me going to his house. We went for a drive. We went to the Moana beach, where we drove onto the beach and watched a thunder storm come in. (the night was beautiful albeit a bit cold, it is raining now lol and thunder which is why I am awake after only 3 hours sleep). So we stayed there for a hours. talking, listening to music, cuddling, kissing. It was all really really nice.

He was very very respectful of the fact that I said I was not having sex. He knew that from the get go. I hadn't shaved so I knew I would not be tempted. Very funny as I told him that and he said right lets go get a razor! But he was a gentleman. Pushed things as far as he thought he should lol. He also kept saying how lovely my face was. Just saying nice things about me.

The other few dates I have been on it has been like I see them again because I don't' know if I want to see them again. This time I want to see him again. He said he would be in contact with me and I really hope he will. I would see him again today if I could.

I have been thinking about it and it is so much like my first date with G. I got in a car with G the first time I met him. But I knew it was ok. Don't ask me how but I just did. I have never done that before until now. I just knew it would be ok. And just being comfortable around him. It is nice.

So of course having said all that I go back to worrying. What if's. I guess I will just have to wait and see. G hung around. Nearly 4 years later we are still friends in a weird don't see each other much way. So hopefully D will just be that bit more than G.

The weekend........

Laura performed in the school choir on Friday at the Flueriu (and I can't spell) Folk Festival. It was all fairly boring and after the kids finished singing half the crowd, obviously parents lol, left. But they all did well and that was the highlight.

Worked Saturday as normal. It was busy yet again. I really hate working Saturdays but not much choice which sucks. I have tried to get out of it but as it is one of our busier days no chance of not working.

G had gotten in touch with me earlier in the week about catching up briefly Sunday, so off to Macs we go. Well that was a nightmare!! The kids were horrible. That really silly behaviour that I seemed powerless to stop unless I really went off at them. Which of course standing up, yelling and sending them to different corners of the place doesn't really work there!! G was great and got them doing little puzzles, like name the 10 parts of the body that only have 2 letters in them. Things like that. But I was devastated. No wonder he doesn't want a relationship with me. No wonder he doesn't see me very often. I wouldn't want to see me either!!

After that little trip to hell the kids and I went to Le cornu to look for a bed for Laura. Found a nice one. It has a chest of drawers, a book case and a slide out desk under it. Off to IKEA after that. We had lunch there which was very yum and the kids enjoyed it as well. Didn't find a huge amount there that I wanted. I little cupboard to go by my front door. Then Lachlan can have the desk. I did get a notice board thing which is lovely to hang up. I also got some delicious smelling candles.

After that we called into Harbour Town but that was pretty boring. didn't stay there long.

So when I get my Ruddy money, I will be buying furniture. I need a new entertainment unit but didn't find one so will have to go else where for that. But am really pleased about finding a bed for Laura. Can't wait to get it now lol.

Old school friends.

Not old as in old age but friends from a long time ago. Which I guess would make us old lol.

S was a year younger than me. He was in my brother's classes. And we were really really good friends. Just got along really well. I went to a small school hence the fact that we shared some classes etc. We also worked at Foodland together. We hooked up once for some fumbling around in my car. But that was it. Of course I got together with Shit for brains. Left school and with basically all of my friends I lost contact.

Due to facebook we have caught up again. It is weird. During the middle of typing this we were chatting on facebook. A few days ago he had given me his phone number. Tonight he rang me. OMG We chatted for nearly 2 hours. He has a partner of nearly 10 years and a couple of kids. And it was just like there had not been a break of over 15 years of not seeing one another!! Still great friends who can talk about everything. It is just bizarre!!!

So he is off to QLD in a couple of weeks for a holiday but when he comes back we are going to catch up. Should be good. Sounds like I will like his partner as well!

I also have a date in a couple of weeks. Have I mentioned that? He lives miles away. That sucks. I told him I wasn't really interested in someone who lived far away but he was quite persuasive but without being pushing so we are meeting. Chatting on the phone before then though. Bit excited.

Also remember that guy who shitted me around a while ago. I met him very briefly and then we made a time to meet properly and he cancelled on me at the last minute. (lol geez does that sound familiar?) and then did it again. But in the mean time there was not a lot of contact? Well he has contacted me again on the dating site. I asked him if he realised who I was and he said yes. That is about as far as we have got! Weird.

Why is it I can never feel I can trust a man again? Even if on the outside I maybe fine sometimes there are just little niggley "what if's". Time I guess and finding the right guy.

ho hum

Bored bored bored

I can not believe how bored I was yesterday. I did a bit of study but that is boring as well. Administrative Law is no fun let me tell you. I was not motivated to do anything but perhaps I should have so I wouldn't have been so bloody bored!

G popped up on Facebook Friday. First time I have spoken to him since giving him his pressies! He was telling me about his date for Saturday night. I wasn't really in the mood to hear about it but I was the good friend and listened lol. Turns out I have met her parents. It was when G and I went to Victor and we ran into them when we were out to dinner. But good on him. Least now he has the time to date.He has regular hours and can do regular things.

He is loving his new job. He is still in training mode and is getting top of the class marks. Smart arse. Not humble is my G that is for sure lol. So he mentioned getting together for a coffee (read hot chocolate) next week. I told him I would have the kids. His response "so". So I am pleased that he got in touch. I don't want to lose his friendship. Geez I only have him and Karen. But my self esteem is so shot that I just think that really he doesn't want to know me and was just seeing me at the gym because he felt obligated to and I was the one who always suggested meeting. (aside from the occasional sex which was both of us lol) So it has made me feel better that he is making the effort.

Not much else to say really. Weight is going down. I am not even being that great but obviously better than I was!! Also my foot has been really bad again so no exercise apart from starting back at taekwondo again this week.

Work is going well. I still have crap days but I would get them where ever I am. I was telephoning people the other day to say they hadn't gotten a job with us and some loser went off at me. Nice. Still been telephone interviewing people. They are all just so young. Was I ever like that? I am sure I was but they just have no clue!

Anyway off to have my hair done again today! I don't think I mentioned that my hair is growing that fast I am now at the hairdressers every 3 weeks!! Once for a full colour and the second for a half touch up. Mainly the front as that is the most obvious. Luckily that week it only cost $20 so I am cool with it. Trust me not to have normal growing hair!! I always seem to be so different from the rest of the population.

Diets, exercise and weight loss

You know I have been fairly lucky when it has come to weight. Up until I had my kids I never ever worried about my weight. I don't even know how much I weighed.I was also never huge on the exercise then either. Occasionally but not a huge amount. Although having said that I am sure I went to the gym. Geez I can't even remember lol.

After I had Laura I joined weight watchers. The first "diet" I had ever been on.I did really well and I can't remember again what i weighed but I got to the point I was tucking my shirt into my pants. Now that speaks volumes.

After I had Lachlan, actually during my time I was pregnant with Lachlan things changed. I was massive. That continued right up until I left shit for brains. Then I was at my heaviest. Now between now and then I have tried a few diets, namely weight watchers (albeit at home, not attending meetings), tony Ferguson and celebrity slim. None have worked. I didn't have the motivation to do ww. And tony worked but I put it all back on once I started eating again. I also found it very very hard to keep up the diet as I like food and drinking my food just didn't do it for me.

So where am I going with this? Who knows really but..... There is a girl at work. 26, one child who is 16 months. She was certainly not obese and she looked good but she has been on a diet. I am not sure what it is but boy it is strict and I know she has paid money for it. She has been on it for months now and has lost just about all the weight she needs to and boy does she look good. She is also motivating me to loss some weight. However I worry that she will put it all back on again once she starts eating again. She has been amazing on this diet. No slip ups nothing. She has had no junk food of the slightest, no chocolate. Nothing to drink but water. I see her lunch and all it is for example is lettuce, mushroom, cucumber and cheese. And all in a very small portion! I don't know how she has stayed on it but she has and good on her.

For me I know that would not work. I would cave after one day! However, I know that eating reasonably well within calories. (without me really counting) It works. Energy in and energy out. It just makes sense. It is still not easy but geez it has to be easier than what this other girl has done. No having said that I know that this does not work for everyone. But if this does not work would those diets work? I don't have those answers. I guess I just know that this works for me.

This week I have made an effort. I am back on the eating better band wagon. I have cut back the amount I eat for breakfast. This is a massive thing for me. I have generally just cut back on portion sizes and not eating after dinner if I am not hungry. I have also cut down on how much food I take to work. I used to worry about getting hungry but now I know how much I can take and not get hungry if that makes sense. I haven't exercised a huge amount because of my foot. I also had some chocolate. (a flake and it was yum) And a few other "bad" things. I lost a kilo this week. Why is something so easy so hard???? This kilo has motivated me to be even more careful with listening to my body and actually acting on what I hearing rather than what my mind tells me. Lol I know what I mean.

Who knows what this waffle is about. But I know G will be pleased to know that he has taught me things. It is a just as simple as energy in and energy out for me. Cutting back (back not out) on crap and not eating unless I am hungry and stopping when I am no longer hungry.

Fingers crossed this time I will make it. I mean I don't have a huge amount to lose so surely when I know it works for me I can do it.

Isn't it amazing?????

How exercise can make you feel so much better? Well it does for me anyway. It has been a week I guess since I started getting into it again. It has been hard though because it has flared my foot up again so I went 3 days with no exercise. So of course my eating slipped as well but I will get there. I think I need to just slow it down. I started running again and got massive shin splints again. So today I just walked for 35 minutes. (while watching True Lies) and that was ok. Not perfect but not so much agonising pain. So that is always a good thing!

Met G yesterday at the shops for a coffee. (in reality he had a cherry ripe muffin and I had a strawberry smoothie) We then ventured off to JB HiFi and Myers. He only had an hour as he had somewhere else to go to. It was mainly so I could give him his birthday pressie. I got him a bottle of wine called the Musician which is a cab sav, shiraz blend and the new Metalica Album. I love giving presents and I was not disappointed with his response. So that was good. Of course now I have no idea when I will see him again. I am not making any move to contact him now. I have done enough of that. If he does want to see me really again he knows where to find me. (I should mention that any friends on facebook who read this and actually know who G is. He is one of my friends and he finally has a photo. 2 even. Although they are fairly crap ones. Least you can see whom I have been raving about for so long!)

He is loving his new job and he has only been there a week and it is only training so far! So in that aspect I am so very happy for him. Hopefully he has found what he has been looking for!

Not much else to report really. Pretty boring as per normal. No kids as it is school holidays. Back to work tomorrow. Which I think is a good thing as I will just indulge myself in a trip to pity town otherwise.

Ok off to have breakfast finally then some study. hang out some washing and mop the floors. Lol never ends really does it?

Men are such jerks

So we had one of the new girls doing her second shift today. Along with another that has been with us for a while. Both are blonde, petite and lovely. And it ticks me off that the guys treat them differently because of that. They are only really young and I just can't believe that these guys behave like they did.

A decided that he would tell the new girl to go and have a break. Did she know she was entitled to a break? He will stay on register while she can have a break. He is floor staff for heavens sake. Who died and made him front end controller? Then it looked awful because I told her she had to wait while I packed up the shit I was working on so I could open my register because A really shouldn't have been on register. He always complains that he can't go on register so I can go and do stuff.

And M. Who is a manager. Geez. Just standing there talking to them both. Walks out of the building ten to 5. I am late out as usual, because he doesn't give a shit. Arghhhhh. Thankfully that happened in front of the store manager. The thing I am finding though is that most people have a problem with M at some point or another.

Fingers crossed the new store manager will start changing things. It is coming but it is just slow coming. I want it to happen now.

Just things.......

Not much is happening here. I had a fairly crappy weekend. Crappy in that I have no one to talk to. No one called me. There is no one! I watch DVDs. I watched You've got Mail. I thought that after the J saga it may have been spoilt for me but no it is still my favourite movie. I am such a romantic idiot!!

Friday and Saturday were two of the best days at work that I have had in a very long time. Friday we had a new girl start so I spent the majority of the day training her.

Saturday I arrived at work to discover that Ian the boss had got another two girls in so I could go help out on the floor as there was only one floor boy the night before and the place was a mess. So I was seen by Ian to be very very willingly lugging cartons of beer around. It was good. He can see that I have more to offer than just being on register. (lol not that moving beer around requires huge intelligence but it shows that I was willing to take direction from the boys out the back when usually it is the other way around when they have to come out to the front end which is my domain.) He also saw me train up the new girl and manage the front end when we were drastically understaffed. Oh Mark also got me to make all the "unfortunately you were not successful in gaining a position at this time" phone calls! Ian commented on that as well and I said I didn't mind doing it as I didn't know the people so I just did it. (sounds awful but I am sure you all know what I mean.) Having said that I don't think that the other girls were overally happy with me not being on register!! Although I have the majority of the hours we have always "appeared" to be on an equal footing but this one girl who was called in to start at 9, which is what I was supposed to be doing, was really not happy.

But least the boss saw me doing other stuff. He knows I want more. So hopefully this is the start of new things. Lol probably not but we shall see.

Decided to get off my butt and finally do something about my weight. I have put on enough that basically I am going to have to go out and buy new clothes. I can't afford to do that so I need to lose weight! I think this was the reason I got rid of all the clothes that were to big for me back then!! So I was on the treadmill this morning. I did a weights type workout and then back on the treadmill. I did an spreadsheet similar to what I was using at the gym, So I know how many reps etc I am doing. I have eaten to much today but least I did major exercise today. Tomorrow I plan on getting on the treadmill before work and then we have taekwondo.

Talking of taekwondo. Patrick had a comp Saturday. Matt thankfully took him. He apparently didn't talk to anyone. Lol probably to intimidated by all the black belts. Who are the nicest of guys! Anywho Patrick won 2 and tied 1. I wish I had been there. I was so proud of him.

Talking of shit for brains. The kids get their trophy's this friday for soccer. Now because Matt paid for Lachlan's fees and equipment he thinks he should have the trophy. His trophy he calls it. It is Lachlan's trophy for heavens sake. If Lachlan wants it here then that is his call surely? Matt won't allow that though. Says he paid for it so he gets the trophy!! go figure.

lonely and bored, bored and lonely

Not really bored I guess. Just that to get up and do stuff requires me to change out of my work clothes and I can't be bothered. I am a bit cold but not cold enough to put the heater on.

Lonely because G starts a new job on Monday. Have I mentioned that? He is going to be working 9-5 Monday to Friday in town. Really really good for him. He has needed regular for a long time. So it is good for him. Sucks for me though. I am not going to see him as much, if at all. It was really only the gym and occasional bed that we see each other. Now with regular hours he is going to be able to get himself a girlfriend and have time to spend with her. And there goes my fantasy of him suddenly realising that I am the one for him. Yes I am a sad sad case. But in reality he is the only male close to me. And he isn't even that close. I have a huge crush on him. Part of me knows that is only because he is a nice guy. He is the only nice guy I see outside of work and the sex is good. I only have any of that with him so I cling to some vain hope that he will suddenly fall in love with me. Yeah I live in La La Land. But it is sad in many ways. It makes me sad to know that what little I have with him I will lose. It makes me sad to know that I am so pathetic that I live in La La Land. Oh this is just so hard to explain.

I honestly have tried being happy with just me and the kids. But I am not. I miss J. Even though he is a jerk and pissed me around. But I miss that company, albeit over the phone. I miss that person who would txt me and say good morning. I just miss all that stuff. All that stuff I have never had before.

Why do I find it so hard to just be content with what I have? Why don't I accept the fact that no one is going to come into work and sweep me off my feet. (yeah I have those fantasies as well) Accept the fact that G is just not the interested in me. Despite the fact that I have my mug up on a internet dating no one is interested in me apart from smokers, wankers or really young guys. I think I want perfect. That of course is never going to happen.

So in general yes I am feeling really really shitty.

Procrastination is a wonderful thing.........

I have been really slack with my study over the last few weeks. Well maybe not slack but just want to do nothing when I get home or have time off so haven't been as diligent as I should be. So the consequence of that is I am frantically trying to get assignments done in a very short space of time.

The house is a massive mess and if I don't start folding some clothes they are really going to take over my house. And yet here I am on the computer!! I did however have a deal with someone though lol.

A fair bit has been happening around here so be prepared for a long one..... Work is going ok. Did I mention we have a new store manager? He seems ok. I have already spoken to him that I want more out of my job and he assures me that will happen. I did however find out today that I am been promoted to level 3. Nothing much changes with that. Means a little bit more money. Not a huge amount and Centrelink will probably take more away than I have gotten from work but oh well.

The kids had this Wednesday off school for the Royal Adelaide Show so I thought we would actually go. I took Thursday off work as well so that I didn't have to get the kids up so early after such a full on day. So Monday night I am awoken to Patrick vomiting. Nothing like cleaning vomit up in the middle of the night. So I called in sick Tuesday from work. Patrick although very off colour managed not to be sick again. Thank heavens as he is a typical man when he is sick. Pathetic. By the end of the day he was feeling much better.

So Wednesday we headed off at the crack of dawn to beat the traffic and pay our $25 to park in a private car park. Expensive yes but the walk after the show back to the car kills me. I hate it with a passion so I thought stuff it I am paying the money. I had prepaid the entry tickets about a month ago and brought ride tickets a couple of weeks ago. So only needed money for sideshows and food.

We got there before it opened and when we finally got in we got a locker and away we went. I had forewarned the kids I would not put up with crap and they were great. Lachlan got horrid towards the end wanting show bags but hey he is still only little really. We walked around the arty crafty stuff early because it was easy with so few people. We did the police stand and the kids got their photos taken on the bike. No wait. We walked passed it later in the day and the line up was massive.

Karen, Simon and her sister and hubby ended up going that day as well so not long after we got there they arrived as well. We met up so the kids could do the rides early. Patrick ended up going with Karen so he could go on the rides with Amy and I took the other two to the kiddy rides. Of course they were in different sections. The kids had a great time. Prepaying the ride tickets was such a moneysaver!! I wish I could have seen more of Patrick on the rides but that is life and it was much easier doing it this way. None of the "when is it my turn?" etc.

I am not a ride person so I just watch. I don't pay to throw up. After we ran out of tickets we met up again so I could take Patrick and we went out separate ways. We just walked around looking at things. Buying yummy chocolate etc. I brought lunch with us. So we stopped for that. So much cheaper doing it that way. Just mini quiches and donuts.

We ended up at the grandstand at about 4. The kids were worn out by then. Karen and co met us there an hour or so later. And we stayed in the grandstand until after the fireworks. Lachlan was pretty hyped up by this point with all the crap he had been eating. He ended up sitting next to Karen and has he adores Karen he settled down after that.

The weather was great except near the end when it rained a bit. It was blowing towards us, so even though it was under cover we got a little wet but nothing major. We had our blankets so it was all ok. We had hot chips for tea. Poor Patrick though, after that he had to have a couple of quick trips to the loo. Least it wasn't vomit though.

The finally at 9.30 we left!! It was a great day and what made it better this year was although we went though a mass of money it was ok. I mean I am sure there are heaps of other things I could have spent that money on but it didn't absolutely kill me to spend it all at the show! It is a nice, albeit hard feeling to explain.

Talking of money, I finally had my hair professionally coloured the other week. The ends are still really really dark from all my years of doing my hair myself but I am happy with the colour. Just a brown but least it is a bit more even now. I am happy with it.

Oh back to the show, this was the first year that I have not had sore feet afterwards. Today my foot was a little bit aching but I have not been zapping it with the machine as much as I should so it is my own fault. That machine has been so great. I am thankful to Kathy and Karen for the use of that for as long as I like. I would love to buy one but they are about $4000 new!

Also an update on the cellfood...... Buy it people. Best thing for me. I no longer have that tired feeling. No more vitamins etc. No more energy drinks. (I am sure I wouldn't need coffee if I did drink it lol) I take cell food shots if I need an extra boost. (a drop of cellfood in the cap filled with water!) Anywho...I can't rave enough about it. I will not go off it now if I can help it. I can tell if I haven't had it for that day.

Yes I am still lonely as well. It was hard at the show at times, especially seeing Karen and Simon and Kathy and Shane. All these couple everywhere and just me walking around with my three kids. It would have been nice to share it with my own special someone. *huge, massive sigh*

Ok I really should go and tidy something. It is a bit, though, of where to start. Pointless of trying to get the kids to help. A whole other long involved story that I can't be bothered with. So off to slave.

Singledom....

There has been heaps of advertising for oasisactive.com.au on the tv for the last week or so. So I decided to give it a go. It is free and usually free sites are crap. Not that really the paid ones are any better.

Now I am picky. I would like to find a guy that lives reasonably close to me. I have been on RSVP on and off for the last 4 years. I met G off another free site. (that was crap) And all as you know to no avail. If the guys aren't wankers then they live miles away.

This site seems to hold all the single men in my suburb. Seriously I am blown away by how many there are here. So it seems I am talking to guys again. And really I hate it. The whole sussing each other out. The whole is he who is says he is, etc etc. I know I have to get through all that to get to a point like I am with G and like I was with J. But shit it is hard. I don't like putting it all out there in case I am not comfortable with them a bit later on. Does that make sense? I guess that is part of my nature, not wanting to hurt anyone. I don't want this guy to get to into me in case I decide that he is not who I want to spend time with. Arghhhh, I whinge I have no one but then complain when I start talking to one.

Well I will keep you informed......

On a different note....I have now found out what it is like to be without water. A water main burst today and the town was without water for 6 hours. Mum and dad were lucky and had at least a trickle of water coming out of the taps. I had nothing. No shower, no dishes done, no washing out the animal bowls and as we only drink water we were very close to having to go down the shop to get water for drinking!! Laura had a friend over and we were rationing the water!

Those claymations of Patrick??? He got a virus on his USB stick from the school! Luckily for me it went on mum and dad's computer first. Not good for them as they had to fork out the money to get it fixed. All is good now though. They are doing a 3 minute animation now. About 2000 pictures. Had to be an environment based, so they are doing it on the whaling. As Karen said there had to be killing.

Faylie had her kittens. We didn't know for a long time if she was pregnant or not but about the start of August we though yeah she is. Last Saturday she was very vocal and trying to nest in my bed and in my dirty close basket. Before I went to work I shut all the doors. When I finished work I went to mum and dad's to get Violet. I told them about Faylie and said when is she due. Dad said not until the 10th ish. They both told me that they start nesting ages before they have the kittens. We then joked that she would have had them on my lounge which at that time was covered in clean clothes that were yet to be put away. Yep you guessed it.....I got home and found her on the couch with 3 kittens and then her trying to eat a fourth dead one. I was not happy.

Eventually I got hold of dad and they came and got her and the babies. My lounge also got cleaned during the week. SoI am feeling better about it but honestly at the time I was so not happy and really hated having to deal with her trying to eat that kitten.

Getting my hair coloured tomorrow. The first time ever I am having my hair professionally coloured. Excited and scary at the same time!

Life is funny

Been having a really shitty time of it lately. Work is pissing me off but am trying to hang out until Christmas. Of course the no social life is making me sad as well. But I have been talking to a guy who I went to school with. He was actually in my brothers class. But we worked together at the supermarket and we had a little bit of touchy feely thing going on one time after work in my car lol. Anyway I don't really remember much about what he is like but he has turned out to be the sweetest thing.

He has 4 kids now!! He seems to adore his partner which is just lovely.


Lol and here I am all by myself.

chicken anyone?

really really horrible foul day. I said to a guy at work today who is a single dad who has his two boys basically full time..."do you ever get sick of it all.... the whole single part?" He of course said yes. But also had something positive to say about it. Which didn't do much for me.

This whole single thing is hard. Being single with three kids is hard. Then had to that just being single. It has just really beaten me down today. The kids just fight and are totally selfish. I feel like I am just the help. I didn't want to be around them today. I didn't want to come home after work. I drove to work this morning crying. Not just because the kids had driven me mad but also because I am alone. My partner is not just off somewhere for a little while but because there is no one. I don't get to txt someone and say I am having a crap day and they txt back something that helps me feel better. I don't get email messages from my partner telling me to hang in there. There are no lovely telephone calls . I don't have the end date here. The date that they are coming home after being gone for a while. There is none of that. It is just loneliness.

Why is it that I get compliments and flirted with by totally unavailable or undesirable men? It happens so much at work. This one guy asked for my phone number yesterday. But he is just not someone who I would go out with. Apart from the fact he has a massive beard!( sorry so not into facial hair) but he has full time custody of a baby girl that was the product of a one night stand that the mother suddenly decided she couldn't deal with it. Just to many things to deal with for my liking.

I have also put on a whole heap of weight. My foot has been really bad. I am not exercising and as such I am eating and putting on weight. I can really feel it. Just things like bending down etc it is really effecting me. I just generally feel foul. All this shit with the co-op is not helping. Hopefully after this meeting it will be over and I am taking time off from it.

My house is a mess. I am sick of that. I am sick of just wanting to come home from work and die. I really don't have the energy to stand there after cooking tea and doing the dishes. And yet I feel really guilty. Not guilty enough to do them but guilty enough to feel shit about it and then just put myself further into this rut. I feel bad because I shouldn't feel bad. I have a good job. I am ok money wise. Not wonderful but ok. I have good kids. (sometimes) I have a good house. Generally things are good. So why am I having a hard time of it at the moment.

Sick of it.

On an entirely different note. I am going to try and put Patrick's claymation on here. It is very cute. Make sure you have the sound on......I also don't know how there can be an Arnold 2 after Arnold's death but hey that's kid logic for you.

illness

I got the kids back Monday night. They had spent their weekend with him. Patrick says to me that night. Dad says you have to take me to the doc because I have bronchitis. He did have a really foul cough. The next day I take the day off work and yes Patrick has bronchitis and needs antibiotics and another day off school. Patrick informs me that he had been coughing like that since Saturday, Matt wouldn't take him to the doc because he couldn't afford the medication ($5) and didn't want to take the day off work on the Monday!! So I take the two days off work when if Matt had played dad instead of selfish git, I would have only had to take one day off!! So pissed off.

Then to top it all off, last night in their weekly phone call to their dad, he wants to talk to me. He wants time with Patrick one on one. This is over what the court order says!! WTF?? Yeah right as if that is going to happen. You could have had the Monday off with him dick wad!!! Not only that but Patrick does not want to spend more time with him!! Fucking wanking.

Lachlan has had these little sores on his back and a few on his arms. I just thought they were bites. I found though a couple in his hair and thought they looked a bit odd. He had an appointment tonight for a referral for his eyes so thought I would get it checked out. Chicken pox. Now you were all sitting there going "well duh that's what I would have thought" But would chicken pox be the first thing you think of when the mum of that child whilst pregnant with said child contracted chicken pox, then after birth had child immunised against chicken pox and then the child still gets chicken pox????? mmmm didn't think so. This is the second time he has had chicken pox! And he has been immunised against it! I think he is basically over it. Of course exposing everyone because I didn't really pay much attention. It is only a light case of it. They have all crusted over and I only really saw them when they were crusted over. That is the thing when your kids can dress themselves etc you don't see their bodies as much. I had noticed the few spots that were there but like I said just thought they were bites. Geez lol trust Lachlan.

I have a major headache. The co-op is causing problems again. To long and involved to go into it. It is only one person but that person is causing big problems and i don't even think the rest of the co-op even realise. Dad has been onto the governing body and they call it bullying. We have a meeting Sunday so I will be saying my piece there. The co-op won't like it but tough cookies. Meanwhile though I have a stress headache.


Talking of headaches. Cellfood. This is fantastic stuff. I am no longer taking vitamins. Just this stuff. It has made a world of difference to my general well being. Just Google it. It is there. http://www.cellfood.com.au/ There you go. I am so good to you all. lol

Ms Slacko strikes again

I know you are all waiting with bated breath to know what is happening with my life. lol. Not much and more of the same.

My foot is really getting me down. The other foot is going the same way. I think it is getting better but it is taking so long. As a result I am not exercising as I should and of course that in turn effects my eating. Which in turn effects my state of mind. Consequently I am feeling fairly crappy. I have little motivation to exercise and I need to find it again to get back into it again.

Work had been getting me down as well. Although I maybe front end controller, that is only in title only. I am just on register. Because we are not busy. I am the only one on apart from Fridays and Saturdays and then we are busy so that I have to stay on register anyway. I aspire more than just being a checkout chick. There are many factors surrounding all of this but in the end I spoke to Mark, my service manager. I told him I was thinking about getting another job because I wasn't happy. He wanted to know what I wanted to do. I said well ultimately trainee manager. He told me that you couldn't do that because of the hours. No more Saturday's off to see the kids play sports. (I swap a shift every few weeks to see the kids play soccer) and he basically gave me the impression I was only good for checkout and as I was single with 3 kids I couldn't do that job. I was left feeling very under valued and wanting to seriously go out and look for another job.

Yesterday I spoke to Brett. The store manager. He said that Mark is a bit immature and needs to be careful what he says. (he is only 26) So we spoke about my options and honestly there aren't many at the moment. Mainly because we just aren't that busy. I know that but I am still frustrated. I think Brett is worried that it if he takes me off register to do filling etc I would get sick of that as well but seriously. This point in time....no. So he did come up with an idea but not sure at the moment. He has to sort a few things out. It will involve me working later Friday and Saturdays. (starting later as well so that would be good for sports) And actually doing some front end controlling. Getting service 5's (change orders lol) and markdowns etc. All the stuff my title entails but I never do. So feel heaps better about my job again. I do love working there and the people but just need more sometimes.

My birthday was fairly crap. Mainly because I am so alone. No special guy wishing my happy birthday etc. All the usual. G did and then ask if he was the first one!! lol. He is odd sometimes the things he says to me. Really what difference does it make if he is the first one or not. He is all over the place with me and I don't' know sometimes just what his feelings are for me. I just pretend that he is a friend only and that is it. I see him at the gym once a week with a few txt and emails in between times. But then he throws in "was I the first to wish you happy birthday?" I don't get that. I also just feel alone. Karen was lovely and the girls at work are great but I don't get out. I don't do anything. The majority of my life is spent at home alone with no phone calls or anything. ho hum

Kids are good. Driving me insane but good. Patrick finally had his first claymation class Friday. I wish I had been there when he came out. Mum said he was smiling. That is a huge thing for him. He keeps such a closed lid on his feelings. (so like his dad) He has been having a hard time at work. He has had a relief teacher. He has been doing really easy work like learning how to tell the time and he is so past that. So after a few phone calls he finally got given some year 7 work and he cruised through that. Hopefully they will cotton on now that he needs to be challenged if they want him to behave in class. No way excuses his behaviour but geez give it a go.

I think that is it really. Still having trouble with the co-op but it is really only one person whom everyone else seems to listen to. Not worried about it really but it is still a pain in the bum.

Well that will do me. My house is a mess. I have a mountain of washing but I am going back to bed for a while to read my book.

doggy torture....

I am sitting here watching poor Brinkley, my German Shepherd, being tortured by my British Shorthair cat. Brinkley is lying on the floor being a good dog and Prowler is smooching him all over. Sticking her nose in his ear. Which is obviously tickling him as he has to then rub his ear on the floor. She is literally walking across his nose. Poor dog. I was laughing and he turned and looked at me with this sad expression on his face as if to say it is bad enough with out you laughing as well! lol.

I am trying to take a photo but Prowler has stopped now. Will try and get one at some stage.

alternate therapy

Today I started using a IFAS high frequency machine on my foot. I am using it every hour for 20 minutes. Hopefully tomorrow I will start to feel the benefits. Karen's brother in law's dad (lol did you get that) owns a naturpathic or the like business. Karen's sister and her other half (the son) run it. Karen works there as well. Anywho, they hire out these machines. They used to sell them but they aren't allowed to any more. Long story. But they are supposed to be fantastic. You can use them for just about everything so I will see how I go. I figure it can't hurt and it isn't costing me anything as they have let me use it for nothing. They really rave about it and I know Karen uses hers all the time as well as her daughter. (same age as Patrick).

It is kinda freaky and a little scary. It is an old machine but they all look the same. But to see the frequency or whatever it is called in this class thing is just bizarre. Time will tell. Kathy told me that for tennis elbow it works really well for and my foot thing is liken to tennis elbow.

Started putting things on layby for xmas today. Got singstar, buzz and eye toy games for the kids. As well as a couple of things for Laura and a game for Lachlan. I wanted to get this hair thing for Laura which had a curling wand etc in it but they were sold out. As was the DS. But least with the DS that will come back on special.

Feeling a bit lonely tonight. A bit rejected I guess. Sick of waiting and wondering if that right man for me really exists. Same old same old I guess. What is new? If I am so wonderful and deserve happiness blah blah why hasn't it happened. Four yeas it has been now and really not one relationship during that time. There was C whom I met the Xmas of the year I split up with M. But really that wasn't going to go anywhere. Nothing since then. It is hard to continually think happy thoughts regarding all this when there is nothing. I can love myself all I want. I can be happy with my own company all I can but honestly it does get you down. People say think positive. But in reality do those people honestly know how hard it is to maintain those thoughts when reality is there isn't anything.......

Yeah I know, here she goes again, but I am good. I have enjoyed my break. I am glad though that tomorrow I am going with mum and dad to Gawler to see Kerry and finally get to see my new niece.

Off to bed for me. I haven't been sleeping very well the last few days. I think my body likes the routine of work. Even if my feet hate it. (I invested in $160 work shoes today so that should help. Rockports for those who are interested. I have heard good things about them. They are very comfy. I have been wearing them around the house, as I am not allowed to go barefoot.) So yes to bed and hopefully a nice nights sleep.

nothing just nothing.

That is what i am doing for the next 7 days. Well that is not strictly true but it is close to it. I am still in my pjs and it is 11am. I didn't get home til after 1 last night (more on the that shortly) but I got up at 8 still. Basically been sitting at the computer since with short trips to the washing machine and clothesline. It is supposed to be raining most of the week so I thought I should get it all done today. 4 loads down only a few 100 to go!

S is the fine wine manager at work. A guy who just has this knack for cracking me up. Just his take on things in life etc is just funny and I enjoy working with him. Well he is leaving to go to another store. Last night it was drinks at his house. Well I didn't as I had to drive. (I don't have kids and I still couldn't drink!) I drove another girl from work there. Not many people turned up which was sad. (only the three of us actually) But it was a really nice night. S knows so much about Dans etc and he has told me to ring the area manager (who is leaving soon as well) and tell her I want to be thought of for upcoming positions. things are happening at Dan's but K got told that they wouldn't promote in house unless you went to a different store. Now she is prepared to do that but I don't want to. They are further away for me. But there is a new store opening up in Victor Harbour which is about half hour away. 10 minutes more travel for me. That I would do. So yet again time will tell. By Christmas with all the casuals I shouldn't be on register by then. I better not be. Si I will give it time. As S said if I don't want to move stores it is just a time thing at the moment but i need to make it known. Of course the managerial style at Noarlunga isn't the best and it is hard to get anywhere there. I told the manager that I needed time off the registers as I was going mad. But he took it that I was stressed out about it. Feeling the pressure. And that is not true. I am never stressed. I do my job and I do it well. If there is a long line of customers it doesn't stress me. I do my best to get the job done and solve the problem that is all I can do.

Anyway I can't be on registers all the time. My foot is so bad. By the end of the day yesterday I was like a little old lady hobbling around. I was in so much pain and now my other foot is starting to go the same way. I am a lot better today so hopefully this week with rest, stretching and taping my feet up it will be better. I am hoping to get back on the treadmill on Tuesday. If not I will go for a bike ride. I just miss the treadmill. I only just got the bloody thing. I see G on Monday so that will ease me back into it.

I will be wearing shoes at Taekwondo for the warm up from now on. Even just walking on hard floors barefoot is a no no for me from now on let alone running and jumping. I am trying to find my old shoes I used for dance as they will be perfect. Just a matter of finding them.

Oh Patrick and I graded last week as well. Blue belt 2 stripes. Woo hoo. Blue belt 3 stripes next then a red belt. Next colour is black. How cool is that. End of next year will be getting very close to that hopefully.

Well I am going to go back to doing nothing!!!

Pain in my butt....sorry no in my heel.

Plantar fascitis. That is what I have! Cool name hey??? I am so sick of my body rebelling against all my exercise. This is a pain in my heel. I have had it for a few months but it went away but flared up the other night again at taekwondo. Doesn't help I am standing all the time at work either in cheap crap shoes.

From what I have read it could take ages to heal. But I am trying the new stretching thing I found and hopefully that will help. Especially before getting out of bed in the morning. That is the worst. So I am pretty pissed off but glad I know what is wrong with my foot. I had x-rays a few months ago but that was mainly on my ankle. It has taken me a while to sort out where the pain is and what sets it off. So no more running around at taekwondo. Well to a minimum any way and no bouncing around on the balls of my feet. (that is what set it off on Tuesday)

I have grading on Wednesday then we don't have it for 2 weeks. I hope that is enough time for it to heal up a bit. I just have to keep remembering my calf muscle and what happened when I exercised to soon. I am just pissed though. I have got this fantastic treadmill and was just getting back into the jogging and now this. Geez!!! Fingers crossed this stretching thing does the trick.

Only 5 days of work to go and then I do not go back to work until the 18th! It is going to be so nice. Might help my foot as well!!

Kids are good. Did I mention that we are cutting out artificial colourings and flavouring with the kids? This is an attempt to help lachlan's behaviour. Seems to be helping. We have just stuck to that for the time being. It is to hard to do all the preservative stuff as well. I don't have enough time as it is without having to worry about that as well.

blah blah blah blah blah..........

Not much to say but no doubt I will fill it with crap.

Went to IKEA with mum and dad on Monday. Holy moly that shop is BAD!!!! I could spend so much money there. We had lunch there. I had the meatballs. Very yum. To the point that I brought some frozen ones and the sauce to take home. Yum Yum Yum lol. I also got Patrick a bedside cupboard. It was actually out of the office area. It just has three drawers. There were so many proper bedsides that I would have love to have gotten but they just weren't Patrick. This was and he is very happy with it. I also got a couple of other little things for myself and the other two but that would have been the main purchase.

I did however find lots that I would like to get. My furniture is such a miss match affair. So it is nice to know I can get some nice stuff fairly cheap. Oh and mum and dad got me a lamp for the lounge room. I have always wanted a lamp. I just need to get another globe. This one is to bright for my liking for a lamp.

Not much else is happening. I found out Tuesday that Laura and Patrick have something on at school tomorrow. Lucky work is great and I am only working 4 hours and then having the rest of the day off with annual leave to go to it. Such short notice but they were great.

My treadmill is great. I love it. I am slowly getting my jogging back up there. I am up to 13 minutes now. And that is just in a week, so pretty happy with myself. The only thing is Tuesday at Taekwondo something set my foot off again. It is all very weird my foot. I have had xrays but that was mainly on my ankle. Which is what I thought the problem was but although that is where the swelling occurs it is actually the bottom of my foot. I still haven't pin pointed what actually makes it hurt. It had settled down for so long but now it is back and is just aching all the time and I hope it goes away again soon.

We having grading again next week for Taekwondo. I am grading this time. I am freaking out already. It is so nerve racking having all these black belts watch you go through everything. Hopefully this time next week I will be a blue belt 2. Only one more after that and it is red belt. Pretty cool.

ok I am out of here. I am cold and tired. I couldn't be bothered putting the heater on. (did I mention that the reverse cycle heating does work here!!! I love it. But of course it eats power.) So off to bed where the electric blanket is on and my Elizabeth George novel awaits.

Guilt trip.....

I am having 7 days of no work and no kids.....I will send you all a postcard from my little guilt trip. I am feeling very guilty about it. But very excited as well. I am having the first week of the school holidays off and all of the second week except for the last Friday and Saturday. I know I shouldn't feel guilty but I do. On the other hand I really really need a break from work and kids. I can't wait but the guilty is ever present and I am justify all the time. I have no plans other than to bum around home and do things here.

On to other exciting news. I am getting a treadmill. I am paying it off weekly with no interest and after 12 months I will own it. http://www.fitnessmarket.com.au/shop/product.php?productid=16465 that is it there. I am getting it from a store near here, where G knows the owners. I was shown a few but after thinking about it and asking G he said the healthstream one. Mainly because they are Australian, good warranty and he knows the repair guys. I pick it up tomorrow. I am borrowing dad's trailer. Which is a pain as I have to drive it to work and then to pick the treadmill. But I am very excited about having this thing. Finally I can run again.

Everything else is going ok. Not much is happening. Did I mention G came over for tea last Monday? It was nice. We had chinese for dinner. Yum. We watched a couple of episodes of sex and the city. (I was frantically cramming before I saw the movie the next night) Then we had a game of chess on his new laptop and just looked up stuff for his new computer on mine!! It was a nice night.

That of course made me lonely but oh well that is my life isn't it.

And now for some honesty

Yes I have been slack but I have been busy! My baby turned 11 Sunday. Funny how this has shocked me more than him turning 10. He wanted money. So I gave him $50 and mum and dad gave him $30. On the way to his party he spent it on 2 Ds games! Thanks to EB half price games!!

He had his party at tunz of fun which is like a games arcade thing. Who knows what you call it. All his friends had asked what he wanted and he said money. All of his friends gave him just that!! He got $95. He got another 2 games and a lava lamp! lol. Funny kid.

Patrick has also been classified in as a high achiever and is in the top 95% in the school. Not his class but his school!! They have a special program which involves a cluster of schools in this area. They meet once a week and do special programs. Dad went to the info session because the bad mum I am I went to the movies with the girls from work. So I am very proud of him and scared as well. We have always said he was to smart for his own good!!

So to the movies. We saw Sex and the City. It was good. I have never watched this show. Never even saw a little bit of it. So K from work has been letting me borrow her DVD's. I still have a few to watch!!

Had a shitty time with Shit for Brains yesterday. I can't be bothered going into it now but yet again I ended up at the police station. It is just bullshit and he is damaging his relationship with his kids he really his. Suffice to say he totally stuffed up by not reading the court order and was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He doesn't like to be wrong.

Work is good. I have my good and bad days. But I got told that I am shaping up to be a very good front end controller. Apparently there are not a lot around and they are very happy with me. This came out of the service manager (who sorts out staff) having a meeting with the store manager and the service manager telling the store manager the above. Does that make sense? Anyway it helped me get over the shitty day I had. There are just times when I don't want to be the main checkout operator. But I know we will get busy and my job will get bigger. Just time. In the mean time I do still love my job. I just have days where it is crap lol.

And the honesty part. Yeah I know I have put it off even until now. I am talking to J again. Not going into it all. I am tired and can't be bothered. It is still tumultuous but I am lonely. I am pathetic and desperate. Least he is someone to talk to and on the whole it is good. I don't know what is going to happen but at the moment I am happy for the company albeit it is over the phone. Just liken it to Carrie and Big.

Down we go again

I was only thinking the other day that things were good. I was wrong. Last night I got a txt from one of the girls from work. Lets go out on a Tuesday and see a movie again. Well I can't....I have kids. I know that this night suits most of them so I said just go without me. She sent back the obligatory txt oh you have to be there that is to bad. So they will all go out and I will be the single mum at home with her kids.

I have had the shittiest morning with the kids. I have no life and I hate it. I go to work, I come home and do more work. I have no fun. The closest I get is taekwondo and even there I have to deal with the kids. And when I don't have the kids I am home by myself doing nothing. How exciting is all that?

Am I expecting to much? Is this the way it is supposed to be for me? Mum told me the other night that I shouldn't try out for the cops again. It would be to hard with the kids. Friday we found out that Patrick had a soccer game. Which was in a different place to Laura's. Of course I was working. Add to that it was farewell drinks for a guy from work Friday and I asked if they could have the kids for an hour or so. They did but they weren't happy about it. Then add to that Saturday. Hence mum's comment. So there goes that. Things at work are good. But I have been stuffing up a lot. There is another girl there who is a year younger than me who has managed hotels and basically there are people there who are priming here for further advancement. And there I am sitting on the register with no where to go. She is a great girl and I like a lot and she deserves it. It just leaves me with nothing.

So yeah one of those really crap days. G cancelled me today as well as he has a job interview. Go him it sounds great.

Going to do Bob maybe he will make me feel better.

bored bored bored.......

Lonely lonely lonely.......

Where do I begin and where does it end?

This weekend gone has been really really hard for me in a few different ways. And part of it I am still struggling with.

The first one I am not that fussed about really but even so. Remember B? Well after our little disagreement the girls at work convinced me to tell him how I felt but give him another go. So basically it would be another fortnight before we would be able to meet. I let it all go and we were back to txting one another. The thing was he only txt once a day!!! Even if I asked a question he never replied or if he did it was the next day. We agreed that last Friday we were both free and would get together. During all of this I am so closed to just saying sick of this. I am out of here but thought no I would wait until Friday. Thursday he txt me. So when can I see you again? WTF??? I txt back with I thought we were getting together Friday weren't we? Nothing, no reply, nothing. Friday I get a reply. Oh don't know what is happening yet as I may have to go to a work do that I only found out about yesterday. Lol that was it for me. I told him I was done and wouldn't be contacting him again. I got a rude txt back about how I wasn't understanding of his work commitments. Yeah whatever!

The next thing was shit for brains. Because Laura didn't remember to take all her soccer stuff with her to his house, I had to deal with him. He now has my normal mobile number. He got that off of Patrick's phone. I knew that day would come but damn I hate that he has it. Then Laura leaves her stuff at his house. But do you think he would drop it any where for me? Nope I have to go to his house to get it. Now I have moved I no longer go any where near his house. I kept telling him to drop it into work but he kept being a bastard. Calling me names again like the good christian that he is. In the end I just told him leave it at work. That is it end of story. And he did. I nearly gave in but I am so glad I didn't. That is just a little bit of power that he didn't gain back.

The final thing was the co-op. Off I went on Sunday to my general meeting for the co-op. All going well. A totally unorganised meeting with the chairman having no clue as to what he is doing, when wham...... I was ambushed. I had a complaint lodged against me. Apparently I have infantile and inappropriate behaviour and ask questions to disrupt the meeting. I also haven't been doing my job as maintenance officer by the rules. (long story short on that one) All of which was total crap. I don't deny I asked questions. I am sure I even interrupted him which he was giving his report. The reasons for that was because I needed more information. He is the treasurer and when you start throwing around words like bankruptcy at people that will believe everything you say. Well sorry but that calls for some questions.

So after they all finished wading into the argument on how the meeting should be conducted. (I should point out that meetings are filled with people talking over the top of each other and interrupting each other.Pity the chairperson doesn't do his job) They all wanted me to have right of reply. Lol I couldn't talk. I said I wouldn't be responding. I couldn't anyway. I was about to burst into tears. I quickly wrote out a resignation from maintenance and left. I went home and wrote my reply to it all in a letter. I was restrained and explained my reasons for all the questions. I addressed the maintenance issues and then sent it to all the members. I am glad to be done with it, honestly. I have my membership. I have my house. I will do the minimum and say nothing in future.

The thing that gets me is that all this is over me deciding that a few people needed to have their kitchens updated. The first one being a man with a disability and very overweight living with his partner in a kitchen that is so small it is crazy. Dad worked out a way to renovate it cheaply and easily to make it better for them. Cupboards got oked for mum and dad's place as mum can't bend down to the lower ones so they are putting in overhead ones. The other kitchen is for a blended family of 8. The kitchen was crap as well so dad is making more room for them. Now I am not talking mega bucks here I am talking $2500. And we have more than enough money. For 3 kitchens to only cost that much it is good. But there are people in the co-op who have brand new houses. It is these people who are in on this letter. And the treasurer is one of them. They don't like me spending money. But we are a non profit co-op we have nothing else to spend our money on but our houses and why should those in older houses not have the same comfort as those in new houses.

Sorry I know this doesn't make a lot of sense but there is just so much going on with the co-op it is hard to explain it all. The up side is that after leaving that meeting feeling totally crap I have since found out that there are a few people who think it was totally wrong that it happened. Dad has been dealing with a few people from the co-op and they just started telling his how wrong it all was etc. So that is nice to know. That I do have support. I thought about not going to the meeting but then decided I would. We only have them once a month. So I have to wait until then to find out really what is going to happen. I won't be saying anything. I will be sitting at the back, earning my participation by walking through the door. I may even take a book to read. Mmmm there's a thought.

So yes I may in my head be yeah whatever and not caring but it pissed me off and hurt me. I have done so much for the co-op, mainly jobs no one else wanted or could do. Because I get things done, because I ask questions and don't take things at face value I get told off. I think today I am finally letting it go like I wanted to. Funny isn't it? You can tell yourself no this doesn't bother me but it does really. It is hard to explain but today was really the first day that I didn't really find myself dwelling on it. Stuff them I say. (I am flipping them the bird right now.... Honest. I stopped right then and did it! lol)

I am going to bed.

Back to the beginning

So I saw G on Monday and he had his instructions to be gentle. It was my last day of antibiotics and I am still on the puffer. It was good. Only one coughing fit!! And we took it very easy. But omg I am still sore. That is how unfit I have become in a month. I had taekwondo last night and tonight. I was easily out of breath. But I think that is more so my chest than anything. It will be nice to finally get through a day where I don't cough or have to blow my nose!!

So on my quest to start looking for a treadmill and a punching bag I have been looking at pricing. $200 for a new bag, $145 at cash converters. I was talking to my instructor tonight and he can probably get me a new one for about $117! How cool is that? He can get them wholesale. They are suppliers of all the taekwondo equipment!! He is going to looking into it for me. But I do want a treadmill first. I have someone at cash converters, (a friend of Karen's) keeping an eye out for me and will let me know when one comes in. I have to get back into the exercise again. I can not be this unfit anymore. I know part of it has been because I have been so sick but even before that I was getting frustrated.

Not much else is happening really. Supposed to be going out with B on Friday. I spoke to one of the girls at work about it. I told her I get one txt a day and for me that is not enough. I am on the verge of saying nah don't want this. But have decided that I will wait for Friday. See what happens. If we meet, perhaps talk about it then. If we don't meet well he is most certainly getting the heave hoe.

Nearly forgot. This guy at work comes through and says to me "where do I know you from!" He asks me all these questions, did i go to school at such and such, did I live in such and such. You get the picture. I said no I grew up in the Clare Valley. "oh that is where i know you from" and yes indeed I went to school with this guy. He totally paid me out during that time of course. He was an arse hole to put it mildly. I would never have recognised him in a million years. Yet he pegged me straight away. Kind of a compliment in a way isn't it? Guess I haven't changed that much!! He needed to shave and cut his hair lol.

A bit of a mixed bag.

My rant turn out so long that I decided to do another one for all the stuff I didn't put in because I was ranting.

I have to get this down because it was so funny. Last night at mum and dad's after I finished work, Laura asked for something to eat. Mum and I said no because it was nearly dinner time. She then said I need to get something out of my bag, which was in my car, so I gave her the keys and off she went. She was gone a while and I could hear a bag rattle but didn't really thing much of it. She came back in and it was very odd. Mum and I thought she had gone out to the car to get some leftover food out of her lunch box. No no she insisted. Well what were you doing? "Oh I got some cat hair off the lounge and put it in the plastic bag so I can take it to school for show and tell!" what the????? We quizzed her some more and it was so weird and we were convinced that she had snuck food. We let it go but weren't happy.

She went out to help dad. Dad came back in a little while later and said Laura had been doing mother day stuff. Mum and I dissolved. Poor kid she really really needs to come up with quicker stories. But she tried hard. Mum and I kept heckling her saying oh here is some cat hair. Lol. She of course doesn't know that we know what she was really doing!! It was so funny.

Laura and Patrick played soccer today. Thank god it was at their school and although both at the same time, I positioned myself so I could see both games! Both lost but they played well. Especially Laura as it was her first game. She got right in there and was encouraging all the other players.

Found out that the senior players were short of players and they picked Patrick to play on their team. He should be in the under 11's and he is in the senior team. OMG boy is the senior team full on in comparison to the younger grades. He is a bit disappointed that when he plays his old school it won't be against his old team but I am sure he will live. His coach is great. I am very happy that Patrick has him for a coach. I was talking to him afterwards about the fact that shit for brains will more than likely not take Patrick to every game especially now Laura is playing and we have to be in two places at the same time. He said he can always take Patrick. I think he will talk to shit head and work something out. Fingers crossed anyway. But that aside he is great with the kids. He grabbed Patrick around the neck like guys do and told me what a good kid he is and he picked up Lachlan and quizzed him about playing soccer. Yet he disciplines the kids when he needs to. He as the boundaries clearly drawn. He was kinda cute as well, wonder if he is single lol!

Now that Lachlan is off his training wheels and going well we biked to mum and dad's today. It was really good. I went on the road with the kids on the footpath. Although there was a bit where we were all on the road. That was scary for me. Only because I can't protect all of them at the same time. At one point the older two were on the footpath made of grass but Lachlan found it to hard a going so I got him on the road. He rode between the gutter an myself. But with all three of them on the road I couldn't do it for all. It was 2.5kms and we did it in just under 15 minutes so that was pretty good. It was nice to do some exercise again even if I didn't even break a sweat and that is coming from the sweat queen.

My infections/cold is on the way out. I have started my second round of antibiotics and I am still using the puffer. But i have only blown my nose once today. How is that for progress lol. I have enjoyed my day off today and it is nice to know that I have another 2 days to go before I have to go back to work. Which I still love but hey who wouldn't rather be at home????